Damage

About a heart break of an abusive relationship. She finds a new boy but cant stop thinking of the other bc abusive n s**t now shes insecure and stuff so yea.

I had a dream last night that you messaged me saying you loved me.

How you missed me how you still care and how you cant bare,

to see me in another's arms.

I don't remember my reaction..

But when I woke up the morning, I did my daily routine. 

I put on my make-up, got dressed but then. 

I turned on my computer to check skype.

1 notification from a random user.

My heart  skipped a beat I thought it was you!

1 year from I met you and omg its still true,

You get in my head, inside my mind.

Its worse than dying because, I'm happy right now.

And your busy crying over another girl.

Old me would have jumped to comfort and console you hoping to be the next.

But past events have shown that he'll throw you off as "a friend"

But when you get close to another guy its

 "I love you" "I need you" "I just wanna die."

He begs and pleads then I'll feel so bad I'll say 

"I'm not over this one boy" but I know I'm lying.

I found comfort in another who is so worth the trying.

I almost lost him but caught him at the end.

But here comes my first love f*****g it up again.

I try to detach wondering if its worth it.

I feel like a possessed doll when I think of him.

Abuse can get in your head yanno.

Because even after a year.

The damage is there.