One Step Closer

Freedoms calling to me

One year

Two months

And twenty-five days

Until I can escape

This farce of a home

This parody of a family

Sweet freedom calls to me

From the future

From the day when

My sentence shall be served

And I will run from this

From this painful past

This painful present

Into the arms of the one who loves me

To the only place on Earth

I could ever belong

Hope for his sake

Pulls me forward

Every second

Every minute

Every hour of every day

Is another step closer

Author's Note

What do you think? Be honest.

Reviews

[Holly Mason]

what a way to look at home life-so creative in the writing on this piece
I hope you will enjoy your freedom
it is a shame that some have to view their homelife as time served but you pen the emotions well
thank you for sharing

[DemitriJ]

Beautiful my sister, but should thy really run away from thyself? Hide forever in another world until escape. Understanding crosses my mind when I read this, for I know how you feel. Escape isn't as far away as you think though, so don't dither on the past or future. Focus on the present and find ways to make it through, even if its just one day at a time. If you can make it through today its good, if you can tommorrow its even better, if you can make it day after day its great; focus only on what right in front of you for now.

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Ok, this has my sisters name and pic on it, but it sounds a lil to philisophical to be her... Thank you all the same:) It's gonna be funny as hell if it really is you...:)

[DemitriJ]

yes its me my sis:) ive just gotten some really good advice from my gpaw so i thought you could use some too

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Thanks:)

[. - .]

Could mean pretty much everything and anything, so I will not make any guesses on what this means d:

But, you can take

"From this painful past/present"

And change it to

"From this painful past
From this painful present
And into the arms of the one who loves me"

Just an idea though :P ^^

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Thanks:) I think I'll do that:) I got kinda stuck around that line and I don't know why I didn't think of that. Thanks again:)

[Rekain]

Every day is a step closer and a step further away. Careful what you wish for.

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Sadly, I know what you mean...

[scripted]

Wow!!! I loved the way that this was penned... It had great flow throughout and I thought that you did a good job on connecting the title to the writing... I know that it doesn't seem like a big deal but a lot of times i'll go to read something expecting to read about what the title is saying and read something totally unrelated... anyway lovely write! Yours truely Danielle (scripted)

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Thank you so very much:) I usually do try to tie my poetry to the title, bc the title usually comes after the poem. Anyway, I'm glad you liked it:)

[Trigorin]

Nice execution and nice concept, but one thing that bothers me is that you actually state the date that the narrator will be freed - strikes me as a little anticlimactic, and restricts the poem to only being relevant to a single time period. Just my opinion, though, and the rest of it was fairly well-written, so well done there.

[Elizabeth Porterfield]

Thank you:) I didn't really think of that restriction, as when I wrote it, I was just thinking about what I felt at the time. I really should have thought about that:) Again thank you:)