Untitled

I want to see your eyes
Shine like the brightest moon.

Open your mouth
To release that lovely tune.

Every time I looked over,
I knew.

Your eyes glistened,
Saying: "all I want is you."

That night,
Brought us together as one.

All everything,
Suddenly turned to none.

Author's Note

Don't really know what this is about, but I hope you enjoy it. Trying to figure out if I should add onto it or anything. Feel free to tell me what you think :)

Reviews

[ms. barrie]

gorgeous poem, so simple yet enriched with seductive imagery of two people encountering each other
only for an enchanting moment, their touch, words still whisper onto you...and one's hopeful heart, perhaps shattered. beautiful write. thanks for sharing, :)

[Daydreamer]

A beautiful poetic tribute to a magical brief encounter. The hopes and high expectations turn to naught in the end....but the memory lingers on.

[joey]

story of my life... lovely :)

[I Am Svetlana]

Thank you :) I'm glad you enjoyed and could relate to this!

[joey]

i really poems like this....very inspired and real. not a complex attempt to awe...just simply be and create wonder

[I Am Svetlana]

That's always what I try to do when I write, just be and create. I do what I can to tell a story within my poems and see how other people are able to see them.

[joey]

you are the best kind of poet.. :)

[I Am Svetlana]

Thank you for your lovely words :)

[joey]

thank you for inviting me :) i dont get many

[I Am Svetlana]

You are most welcome :)

[Inda]

This is a fantastic piece, short and strong! You've captured the moment when two people discover, well each other.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I like the way that you ended this piece... In the beginning it was a love poem, but in the final lines it said something deeper about connection in general. "All everything/suddenly turned to none." -- I am reminded of the absence of color, the void, the distance that we often find between ourselves and those that we care so deeply about.

[SquinklaPsyOps]

Is about a dentist that takes peoples teeth out and leaves their mouth empty.

"Open your mouth
"all I want is you."
All everything,
Suddenly turned to none."

[I Am Svetlana]

Wow, this is a very interesting take on this...thank you so much for the creative spin!

[YoungT]

It seems as if it was a love at first sight that ended up as lust to the looks and sound of the person. I liked it. it was a good read.

[sayed Mudasir Ali]

You need to correct your poem. Please edit it and it looses the flow and very hard to follow. Just an advice.

[Antoñyo]

This comes to me as a moment...THEE moment one realizes they've fallen, and soon after, nothing appears as it was...No, it doesn't need more. It's great as is.

Thanks for sharing

[FlatLineBeauty]

Bestie! This is so gorgeous I love it. xo