...I feel like people easily jump to conclusions based on how they feel. Take for instance when someone relates to something they'll instantly think it's a good thing because they can relate which makes them feel happy. Try not to be so quick to jump to conclusions and send mixed messages or inaccurate information to people.
But on to the review, I would like you to ask yourself what makes this a poem. Does the
Fact that
I broke this
Sentence
Into stanzas
Make this
A
Poem?.....no? Just checking. And on to you're write I don't feel like you said much of anything. You could more deeply explore why you are afraid to be yourself, why you want to fit it, why you don't want to shed tears, how you feel as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders, why the world shouldn't see you at your weakest. Those are all individual topics that most of us lack the power to express in a sentence or two so I would advise brainstorming and fully developing each of these ideas and making it into a much longer and detailed work of art :)
I agree with EverEmma. It is true and good. I can relate to it as well. But people always see my tears...but I try not to let them...I try to be stronger in school and the world...but I feel like I'm an idiot at times. Good write. Thanks for sharing. :)
"If you cannot write well; you cannot think well; if you cannot think well, other's will do your thinking for you."
-Oscar Wilde
Hello all, my name is Emily Svetlana!
I am 30 years old and wo.. more..