Letter in a Bottle

for the Lotus Eaters group prompt #4.

There I was on that red dirt road--two weeks from anywhere--
walkin' along mindin' my own bizness when a glint of Blue caught my eye.
Curiosity may have killed the cat but I didn't have any better sense
and so I went and fished a blue-glass bottle out of the ditch.

It wasn't wicked waters I found when I uncorked that bottle

but a sheet of crumpled paper. And because I had nothing better to do,

lost on an old road in the middle of the day, I read those words.

 

I've wandered down this road alone
I've wandered down this road alone
Too far gone to find a home
I've wandered down this road alone

 

Too far gone to find a home
Too far gone to find a home
My bottle's empty and I am done
Too far gone to find a home

 

My bottle's empty and I am done
My bottle's empty and I am done
All I leave is just this song
My bottle's empty and I am done

 

The last line felt like a whisper on the wind--

a cold chill on the back of my neck.

I looked around and couldn't see nary a soul.

Not a house nor a barn for miles--

only Blue skies above me and red clay below.
I hurried my steps along a little faster.

Time to get on along to where I was headed.

 

Author's Note

I'm wondering if the narrative parts shouldn't be more spare. . . or a little darker. . . to contrast with the blues lyric

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I almost looked around alomst...it is the casualness of it all, could happen to anyone, anywhere. To find such words when you do not expect them would be startling. And there is a neat contrast between the lost reader and the form of the message in the bottle which seems to know exactly where it is. Enjoyed this. Makes me wonder what mischief I might leave lying around somewhere! I think there was a day in London when there was people left books lying around or something.

[The Archangel Gabriel]

What is up with all these words? I must admit that you seem to have found a good use for all of them. I like your experiment in form. It is fresh and exciting! You also seem to have figured out how to rhyme - just use the same words over and over again! That is very functional!

The whole thing came together very well, I think, and it was nice to have a change although I also enjoy more of the same. Great work!

-Gabe

[An Ordinary Woman]

I could tell you had fun with this and I enjoyed it too. I can see the red dirt. You know how badly I miss it ... This poem has great imagery and the peek into your world again was good for me. I enjoyed this, perfect for an early Sunday morning. :+)

[Jenny Davis]

This is so cool, Emily. I liked this new found style, very fresh and definitely GOOD :-)
....I better get found myself LOL

[Shadows of Sight]

This beautiful! :) And i don't just mean the scenery of the locale! A timeless treasure of anothers journey. Yet it's true that some journeys come to and end in nowhere land. It is good to see this side of life depicted so well.
It's also a reminder to carry a compass and a map! lol :)
May you have many more trips down these red rock roads, I'd love to hear about other wonderful things you might find!
Great Job!

[Rod Zinkel]

Maybe that would be a good use of our writings, put them in bottles and leave them in isolated places. Nice use of the message applying to the narrator.

[Dezaraye]

I love this piece, Emily. I love the carefree feel of your words. They are light and happy sounding, but have such a depth to them, too.