My Journey Back to Hapiness

Surviving Sexual Assault, and my journey back to Happiness

On Sunday afternoon, I vacated my room in my first dorm and moved to another dorm on the edge of campus. Not longer surrounded by my first neighbors, this chance is my new lease on life. As stressed as I am, I feel oddly relaxed. It’s time to turn in my key.

I walk down the street, nervous about entering my first room for the last time as a resident. I walk into the lobby, and go straight to the elevator. I When I arrive on the 3rd floor, I look around before I walk to my room. Satiated that I don’t see Him or his friends, I decide that I’m good to go into my room for the last time. Stepping in is a surreal experience, seeing only my roommate’s stuff on her side, and a few things on my side that she placed there to fill the void I left. Satisfied that I hadn’t left anything of importance in my old room, I decided that I was finally ready to leave. I went down to the main desk, surrendered my security sticker, and signed the necessary paperwork.

After turning in my key, I felt ready to move on. While I may go back to my first dorm one day, it is not my home anymore, nor will it ever be again. It is merely a place I spent the first weeks of school in, and now, it is merely a place that I can visit. Symbolically, turning in my key broke the last tie I had. I am now free.   

It's going to get better

I moved from my home into a new place. I am surrounded by boxes, yet oddly relaxed. It's time to turn in my key.

After turning in my key, I felt ready to move on. While I may go back to my first home on campus one day, it will never be my home again, but merely a place in which I visit. Symbolically, I am free. On the walk to my new home, I felt such an intense mixture of emotions. At first, I could only focus on what I was losing. I could only focus on the perceived view that I let him win by moving out. I could only focus on the fact that I was giving up so many opportunities and friendships because I couldn't look at the guy, much less live down the hall from him. But then it was like God was looking out for me. The clouds cleared, the sun appeared and I felt as though this was my new start. And as if cued, my Spotify playlist aptly named "Have a Great Day" changed to "Here Comes the Sun" by none other than the Beatles. Suddenly I truly felt like it was going to be okay.

As I listened to the lyrics , I realized that I wasn't alone.