Brave Heart

you need to watch a movie several times to be able to appreciate it fully.

The day was overcast but it took nothing of the beauty of the green glen, the neighbouring knoll and the towering centennial trees that were bordering the whole area like sentinels. The whole expanse was as widespread as two football pitches side by side.

It was a peaceful scene and yet the air felt charged. The birds had stopped their morning serenade as if sensing a momentous occurrence.

The horizon darkened perceptibly. It quickly became clear that a great number of riders were approaching. A black tsunami of men on horseback started filling the space. The thundering beat of the horses’ hooves was deafening. Soon they were close enough to touch. The details became sharper. They were hardened warriors, clearly on the war path. Their leader raised his arm and they stopped. There was paint on the faces of the men who held an assortment of weapons: swords, axes and clubs. The muscles on their arms were bulging. Their mounts looked as impatient to move on as they were. They were snorting, stamping, rearing to go.

The cameraman made a wide sweep of this human sea then soared overhead and offered us a breathtaking bird view of the scene; a thrumming sea of bodies, then zoomed in and took a low view shot of the leader. Looking at him from the ground up made him appear gigantic. He was simply majestic. His back was ramrod straight, his blond hair flowing in the wind. The paint could not conceal his grim, chiseled features nor his legendary blue eyes as they scanned the far distance. It was none other than the handsome Mel Gibson sitting on his fidgeting horse. The animal’s nostrils were flaring, foam dripping around the bit and eyes bulging. The fiery red coat of the horse was covered in a sheen of sweat.

I suddenly realized I was holding my breath. I exhaled audibly.

“Damn!” was all Zee said. He was sprawled on the couch, a bowl of popcorn propped up on his stomach, a leg flung on the back of the couch. Bokhsh, my other friend was occupying the adjoining armchair and I was sitting on the carpet, leaning against the wall, my own popcorn forgotten.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

The following evening, my friends and I purchased “Meet the Fockers”, the one featuring Ben Stiller, De Nero and Hoffman. We bought the beer, the popcorn, cashew nuts and settled down for an evening of fun.

Zee went to eject the Mel Gibson and insert Ben Stiller but the damn CD rack refused to budge. Try as we might, the flipping thing would not open.

“S**t!” complained Bokhsh, “I was looking forward to watching something funny.”

“Listen,” I said, “it’s a good movie. We might as well see it again.”

They agreed and we settled for a rerun of the epic adventures of M.G. I, for one, was secretly happy to see the movie again. I discovered a few things I hadn’t noticed the first time and the pleasure was by no means diminished. My favourite low-view shot came on and I couldn’t even blink. A wispy vapour was rising in the crisp morning air from the sweaty flanks of the animal while M.G. reminded me of Nelson in Trafalgar square. On this second evening, we allowed ourselves to remark on a few things, having seen the movie before. Bokhsh even regaled us with a couple of farts which lightened the mood but stank the room. Bokhsh is a notorious farter in my circle of friends.

The following evening, we went to the pub, played pools and generally drank ourselves silly. We promised to meet again at my place, the following night, try again to dislodge the recalcitrant CD and perhaps finally watch the Fockers.

We tried everything we could; we used a knife, a screwdriver, a paper clip, nothing doing! Resigned, we sighed, popped, each, a beer open and settled for yet another viewing.

The movie was definitely one of my favourites but, to this day, the low-view shot of M.G. is perfection. The extreme close-ups were made all the more realistic by my wide LCD screen.

          

           * * * * * * * * * * *

Eight days later, we’d ended up watching the movie six times. By the end, we knew it by heart. We could recite the different parts verbatim. And of course, my favourite shot remained, you have guessed, M.G. on his horse, looking in the distance with his piercing blue eyes, on the point of farting into the dough.. euh.. darting into the foe.

The following Saturday, Zee said

“Sorry, guys, as good as the movie is, I’ve had my fill of it.”

“Me, too,” said Bokhsh.

I had to agree that enough was enough and so we went to the “Globe”, the best and only movie theatre in town. I bet that if you’ve been paying attention, you will have guessed that the featured film was.. Correct! Brave Heart.

We deliberated, argued, turned to leave but finally I won the vote. I convinced them that since we were there, we might as well watch the film on a gigantic screen.

“You won’t regret it,” I promised.

We got in as the lights dimmed and were ushered right to the front pews as the place was packed.

We sat, or rather sprawled, looking up at the screen. It was most uncomfortable but it was bloody worth it.

I kept waiting for my favourite shot with bated breath. It was finally there. Mel Gibson in all his glory. I could stretch my arm and touch his mount’s leg, I was that close. It was truly breathtaking. Beyond breathtaking. The horse stamped and snorted. Mel looked ahead, unmoving. Then slowly, he lowered his gaze, a puzzled frown formed on his forehead and his mouth curled into a smile. He looked me in the eye and said:

“Woody, what the hell are you doing here??”   

Reviews

[Kayja Symphious]

It's been a while since I've gotten a chance to read your works...and, boy have I been missing them! Your understated style goes so well with your humor. I loved the line "we went to the “Globe”, the best and only movie theatre in town. " That line made me laugh out loud.

Thanks for this Woody. I needed a pick-me-up!

[Woody]

thank you very much Kayja :) always a pleasure to make you laugh out loud.
I hope everything's alright with you.

[Botania]

Enjoyed this. Thank you Woody.

[Woody]

thanks a lot Botania. glad you liked this :)

[Samuel Dickens]

I guess even Mel was a little tired of you looking on. That's bad! Boy, I'd like to join you and your pals for a night of male-bonding, but I'd have to bring a clothes pin. And a dvd player. And all three copies of "Lord of the Rings", which I've watched at least 75 times. I don't know why, but every time Frodo sees me looking at him, he slides the ring on.

[Woody]

haha love your last sentence :) thank you Sam.

[Dante Carlisle]

I have to wonder how you sat through it so many times? And your friends, who were willing to give up the second night, surprised you didn't have a mutiny on your hands. Were you speaking with a Scottish brogue by the end of it?
I enjoyed it, thanks for the story.

[Woody]

haha thanks for the funny review, Dante. och aye, I think my Scottish accent is nae bad, now.

[Dara]

Love this story!! It is also one of my favorite movies but not sure I could sit through it as many times, not because I would tire of it but because of the intensity of the film. It is truly a classic. Thank you for sharing. Great job!

[Woody]

thank you very much Flower. glad you liked.
there's no denying that it's a great film and M.G. is a smashing actor but to tell u the truth, I was just fooling around :)

[Dara]

Ha Ha you got me :-) Great story!

[Rana]

Aah, it was so refreshingly enjoyable reading this, more so than this delicious chocolate cookie i been munching while reading lol :P :D found it real sweet the way you seemed so completely to adore Mr. Gibson. And then the way the story takes a turn and gets more funny near the end, that was great. Also, you've got some great skill in descriptive narration..

[Woody]

thank you dear Rana :) so happy you liked this one.

[Marie]

I guess he'd seen enough of you, though you obviously never got enough of Mel.
Your description was wonderful; it makes me want to see "Brave Heart" again, though it's not one of my favourite movies, nor VMel Gibson one of my favourite actors.

[Woody]

haha he certainly did. he didn't expect to see me there, that's for sure. tell you the truth he's not one of my favourites either. but he's good.
thank you Marie. your support is always appreciated.