Limericks (collection)

well, just limericks.

I-                                  slaughty * limerick

 

 * slightly naughty 

 

A very old couple from Philly

Were forced to walk belly to belly

They mistook the glue

For K Y, it’s true

They’re now at the Doc’s, looking silly

 

 

II " The girl from Warsaw

 

 what were you doing in the tool shed, anyway?

 

Once a heedless girl from Warsaw

Went and Sat on a circular saw

Now, that's a disaster

For it sure dis-arsed ‘er

The medic couldn’t believe what he saw 

 

III  -  Woodworm

 

 

A cute little woodworm from Milan

Who eats as much wood as he can

He came from afar

To his favourite bar

Said is the bar tender here, my man?

 

IV- Greek

I once met a beautiful young Greek

Whose nose was as long as a beak

It was awfully quicker

And so much slicker

T’ go round her back.. t’ kiss the other cheek

 

V- Poison

 

A man has the craziest chick

He decides to poison her quick

Once his mind'S made

He takes out a blade

And caref’lly gives ‘er arsenic

 

VI- York

 

 

A pregnant young woman from York

Plugged up her chimney with cork

Said I don’t want to

See it down the flue

When Baby is brought by the stork

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Most definitely love "Greek" best . . . they DO have beaks & the ending is imaginative & funny. I'm a little queasy about "Warsaw", with gore & intimacy & humor all packed together! I also like "York" - very imaginative! Your mind works in mysterious ways. If I thought some of these things, I think I might hide it! *smile*

[Woody]

oh no I'd never hide them. I want everybody to join in the fun :)
to be honest I'm surprised that the one who wrote not-so-innocent poems (wink wink) would prefer the less graphic limericks.
I thought God worked in mysterious ways!!!
thanks a lot Dear. always a pleasure to make you smile.

[barleygirl]

It's not the sexual innuendo that I find hard to cuddle up to . . . it's the macabre parts . . . but I'm trying to open up my tastes, little by little (as evidenced by my recent story of fried bits).

[Woody]

exactly my point! :)

[barleygirl]

You make me smile every day (((HUGS)))

[Woody]

that thing right back atcha.

[Lydia Shutter]

OH MY....I am giggling uncontrollably! You are clever, witty, funny, and now you have created new words. Absolutely delightful! Lydi**

[Woody]

thank you very much Lydia. I confess I am basking in your glowing praise :)))))
so glad you enjoyed them.

[Lydia Shutter]

Just realized I commented on this collection twice....having a blonde moment for sure. Sorry!

[Woody]

hahaha hey twice's better. I can't complain.
see you next month I guess.

[Lydia Shutter]

Laughing here!

[MsJewel]

You have outdone yourself with these cute and clever little gems. It is always a delight to visit your page!

:) Julie

[Woody]

and I'm overjoyed you liked them. thank you, Dear.

[~]

Okay, these are amazing!! I am going to bookmark them for sure so I can come back for more laughs. Thank you for brightening my day :D

[Woody]

aww I'm honoured and flattered, Moon. thank YOU for stopping by.
glad they made you laugh.

[Debra White]

Hi Woody :)
You gave me a good laugh this afternoon - I love a limerick!
I particularly enjoyed the first one.... but fun imagery in them all :)
Bye for now, Debra :)

[Woody]

Hi Debs,

thanks heaps. so glad you had fun with these :) actually that's about the extent of my poetic prowess.

[Gee]

Oh no it's not,methinks you play down your considerable talent young Woody my friend

[Woody]

aww so generous of you Gee! in one short line, you made me 2 compliments: talented and young.
thank you Sir. but do you know how old I am? :)

[Gee]

Ahh now you've put me on the spot,well I reckon you look good for ............87 lol.Just posted a limerick deriding myself!!!

[Woody]

I said old. not ancient. youngsters like you have no respect for the elderly!

[Gee]

We must be similarly aged,yes???

[Woody]

you tell me. I'll turn sixty come August :) doesn't it show in all my writes? wise, deep, level-headed, no-nonsense kinda guy.

[Woody]

sorry, did I say sixty? I meant sixteen, of course.

[Gee]

Lol..........You look youngrr my friend and I older,53

[Woody]

I know. they often tell me I don't look my age.
Gee! we've been chatting under Debra's review. tsk tsk.

[Gee]

Sorry Debra!!!

[Debra White]

That's ok! Makes for an entertaining read ;)

[Gaston Villanueva]

Hahaha very clever Woody!

[Woody]

thank you very much my friend :) happy these made you laugh.

[Aerielle Louise]

Haha. Your works are really entertaining. Great limericks.

[Woody]

thank you very much Aerielle. I'm so glad you found this crazy collection entertaining :)

[...]

Leaves shaking my head at you, Woody...lol

[Woody]

haha I'll take that as a compliment lynn. smiling like the cheshire cat :) thank you lynn.

[Millzy86]

funny stuff a few I might tell friends

[Woody]

thanks a lot Millzy. glad you found them funny :)

[Mr_M]

Ha! Is all that I need to say!

[Woody]

I'll take that as a compliment :)) thank you my friend. glad you enjoyed this.

[Matching Socks]

I love this collection Woody! Thanks for always bringing laughter to the cafe. :) xx

[Woody]

thanks a bunch Ana :) a pleasure to make you laugh.