Secrets

There wasn't much that I believed in,

even God keeps secrets.

So, your hiding things wasn't much sin,

dear soul, wild emotions pets.

Days pass by,

silent remains the sky.

None says nothing since ages,

maybe the business of sages.

What glory this sun hides?

Endless fuel, thus reason/suspicion rides.

You have answers, why keep quiet?

But if had known, would there be this poet?

Perhaps some logic beyond my intelligence,

little is dangerous, why did not give enough sense?

Maybe, wouldn't accept the poetry You wrote on the sky,

wouldn't find the reason legit enough to die.

You could have however, tried us one time,

perhaps different notes but similar rhyme.

- March 21, 2013

5:04 p.m

Reviews

[KAOlmsted]

I really liked this, once the rhyme pattern was set. I am by no means suggesting you need to change a single word of this, but I wonder if it would flow more fluently if you tried...

"There wasn't much that I believed in,
Your hiding things wasn't much sin,
Because even God keeps secrets.
Dear soul, wild emotions pets."

It is more consistent with the rest of your poem, but I like it as is, as well ;-) Thanks for sharing it with us.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

I love the way you've put it. Thank you for making it more beautiful. :)

[KAOlmsted]

They are your words, I just jumbled them up ;-) Always my pleasure.

[Mehak Mushtaq]

:)

[Frieda P]

I love all your questions here, aptly put in the heart of someone not being recognized for what they're worth. God seems to have a strange sense of humor. Love the last two lines.

'You could have however, tried us one time,
perhaps different notes but similar rhyme.'

Spot on, nice one!

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Thank you Frieda. :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

An interesting piece with a voice of confusion. What do you do when you find someone has been keeping things from you and you were in love with them?

[Mehak Mushtaq]

This is what I often ask myself. What to do when someone has been hiding things but you love them?

[Lily Mae]

I love the last two lines..it seals this poem up so well.. Great write..xo

[Mehak Mushtaq]

Thank you. :)