A Melancholy Feeling

Do you ever get that deep feeling,

That's hard to explain?

That sits in your stomach,

And clouds up your brain?

 

So that you lay on your back,

And look at the sky,

And wonder how all

The time has flown by.

 

I do sometimes,

When I sit in a chair

And end up typing feelings

That ring of despair

 

To know I've done nothing

Worth mentioning twice

The deep dread of a lifetime

Passing right by.

It's almost enough,

To make you give up.

To throw up your hands

And say this is too much

But then the world knocks,

The present's at hand

With friends all about you

No possibilities bland.

The future is white

The world's in your cradle

A child of thought

Makes you reasonably able.

To change what is wrong

With the hands that you have

To fix what's around you

That makes blandness so grand

Everyone else
Has just given up
No one is trying
Any new stuff

The darkness surrounds them
As they claim they're the light
That their way of life
Is impossibly bright.

When the reality is
No one is blessed
Everyone's equal
The same as the rest

But the truth that is real,
The truth setting you free.
Is that everyone's great
It just depends how you see.

The world that surrounds us,

May be undeniably bad

But you have to take notice

Of the good people who have,

Touched each one of us

And helped make us great

And have possibly changed

The entire world's fate.

Because in the end

Our lives truly lie

In whomever of us

Will reach for the sky.

Because who out of us

Isn't everyone else

Someone actually different

From what comes off the shelf

What the world truly needs

Isn't words or grand plans

It needs individuals

To make their own stand

What happened to people

Who like Galileo

Challenged not just the else

But everyone able

To fight for the movement

That is forging ahead

Warring against

That darkness and dread

Filling us up

And making able

To give up the one thing

We are physically able

To completely control

That's just in our hands

The life we were given

By our wife and our man

So never give up

And don't follow their lead

Where they are headed

Has already been seen

Forge your own path

On the trail we call life.

Give it your all,
And always think twice.

Author's Note

After extensive review and expansion, I find myself liking this poem a whole lot more.

Reviews

[Chris]

Three live reads... rhythm and flow 1st... little stumbles - blockages., 2nd Content, breaks, pauses tones... fair rhymes a couple feel forced. Content takes a big hit at and near the end... you lose part of the emotional impact you build from the beginning... sort of like a tire going slowly flat. 3rd read... Sense and sound and total effect... the stumbles hurt and crack the rhythm and tone.

The thoughts are GOOD and valid... rhymes well, keep em real. Work on the beat and keep to it throughout the whole work. Take your time and don't stress out or overwork the poem. Don't waste your thoughts on too many pretty words that add nothing to the heart you put in it.

Take care,
Chris