you think i am the moon, but really i am the stars

you think i am the moon, but really i am the stars

A Poem by Erin

i do not try to control you
i actually try to guide you
there are multiple ways i can be
not just one
i am not angered when you are close
i simply smile
i will not be around for a million years
like you wish me to be
over time i too will become old
but my light will continue to shine

© 2011 Erin


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OT
i like the play on fonts and colours - gives it a concrete feel - the emphasis in different places - very well done!! the light will shine through all the crap - smile away!

Posted 12 Years Ago


innovative style :) very nice piece Erin! best of luck for more...

Posted 12 Years Ago


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Tim
Nice colors yes, but the overall message is what really stands out to me. The stars metaphor is an appropriate symbol for your effect on the reader and for me, this poem gives the reader somewhat of a wise warning that we are all fragile beings only here for a short time, but also that as long as we hold someone in our hearts after their gone, they're memory will live on, or perhaps in your own words--shine on. Nicely done.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Very inspirational. I really like how you wrote this. The different fonts and colors really help to convey the mental imagery you are presenting. It's also very lifting in a lot of ways. I really feel like you spent some time working on this poem, and the meaning behind it. :). I definitely enjoyed reading this.

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is nice! I like the wisdom of these words. The different colors are nice for the reader to see as well. It makes it easier to read and enjoy!

Posted 12 Years Ago


nicely said, like the emphasis for effect good work

Posted 12 Years Ago


I loved this. The changing of size and color drew emphasis in a very pleasant way, rather than be overwhelming as it sometimes can be. There's nothing to criticize but some reviewers may bring up the lack of capitalization; I don't think it matters in poetry. This is a great read!

Posted 12 Years Ago



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Added on May 28, 2011
Last Updated on May 28, 2011

Author

Erin
Erin

Surprise, AZ



About
My name is Erin(: im 19 years old and writing is my PASSION. my English III teacher, Mr. Johnson has been such an inspiration to me and helped me become a better writer. i have taken creative writing .. more..

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A Poem by Erin


her heart her heart

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