Efil

I am stranded in an endless loop. Struggling between choosing myself and pleasing people. Wondering if I could muster the courage to change this cycle. I feel powerless and useless. The strength that took me years to gather is leaving me. Yes I am a coward, over sensitive and an immature being in a matured age. It is as if my rational mind is being blown away. I tried to talk but I am being silenced by an undying debt that I incurred since birth. Dreams, joy, hope, and motivation to move forward was washed away by the word survive. How long should I be dragged by debt? Why can't I fight back? I already lost the will to reach new heights. Why is their opinions highly regarded than my own voice? I tried to make changes and fall deeper. I am confused. I am weak. I am loosing it. What am I? I have no idea what to do with it anymore.