Empty Spaces

Why does it have to be this way
Derived from hatred
Loving without commitment

Loss of love
Loss of hope
Loss of sanity

Storms in my head
Raging inferno
Poisoning my thoughts

No warmth but my own
Empty spaces that should be filled
Coffee pot always half empty

I sip the cloudy water
Searching for answers at the bottom
Pour me my fortune

Blinking cursor
Waiting to write me a new beginning
Keyboard broken

Emotions squandered
The bread went bad
We went bad

I died of a broken heart that night
When our love went stale
Now I am here alone

 

Author's Note

Please be brutally honest

Reviews

[Matthew Kult]

Hello EverEmma,

I took a look at your reviews before writing my own, and I apologize for that, it's becoming a bad habit. I am partially going to agree with Scatterbrain, no this is not Uninteresting, it is indeed interesting but it is a bit generic.

I don't blame you for that. I blame popularity in the writing style. That being said I like how you livened it up a bit with the formats.

Now the writing and words themselves were excellent, like Poppy I enjoyed the imagery, I enjoyed the little path you took me on and I related to most of what you said....sorry I don't drink Coffee. You did an outstanding job with word use and flow. Be proud.

Always,

Matthew

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

personally~ I disagree with the "uninteresting" evaluation below~ I find it very interesting and deeply moving in its subtle parameters~ there is no force here~ there is a very gentle unfolding of this tale drawn in sublime metaphors~ I see the creative movement as delicate as a woman's fingertips unfolding the corners of a smooth cotton napkin~ in gentle presentation there is epic power~ you have created that here~ a 100 from me~

[scatterbrain]

i half-agree, half-disagree with Jeff.

well written, yes, but very uninteresting. generic of what else i can find on the site. not impressed, sorry :(

[Jeff]

This is a very interesting piece, and was very well written.

[Wolfwind Words]

Honestly... I think that the last stanza should have been a shade closer to spinich. (hehe) You have surely captures many images as the piece reads from top to bottom. Many of which are very unique and orginal analogies. I enjoyed the newness of the piece. For many people write about the loss of love. But you have given us the topic in an entirely fresh way.

in conclusion.. I will say this. May you find the turtle, that will lead you to the stone, that the key to the secret closet is hidden beneath. So that in turn you may find your prince behind the shoebox containing the ancient treasure map to a land that has yet to be writen. :)