Run Away

I just wanna run away,

From the monsters haunting me.

Not the ones I see in my sleep,

But the ones in reality

I just wanna run away,

Unhear all the things you’ve ever said.

Because maybe if I wasn’t me,

You wouldn’t have said anything.

I just wanna run away,

From the pain inside my soul.

The things that I have thought,

Made me lose my self control.

I just wanna run away,

From my fears of yesterday.

They keep coming back,

And it’s like they’re on replay.

I just wanna run away

I’ve already been pushed,

Pushed past my breaking point,

One too many times.

I just wanna run away,

But I know that won’t happen.

That thought can only be pretend,

Something I put in my head.

I just wanna run away,

That’s without a doubt.

But no matter where I run,

No one would hear me shout.

I just wanna run away,

Run back into your arms.

The arms that kept me safe,

Where I could live without any harm.

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

It rhymes well with a clear structure.... good for you. I really think that s**t's a waste of time so... woo fuggin hoo.

"Back run into your arms".... what in the f**k does that mean? Sewage comin up through the pipes again?

You got skills... I had to struggle to see them through this but I do think I saw them. I'll read more of your words.

[John Stussy]

No this is a striking, evocative piece. The despair, fear and betrayal are vivid, and you portrayed your emotions skillfully. The meter and the rhyme were spot on, making the whole thing flow smooth as thought. Great work.

[barleygirl]

Overall, I like your writing & your message . . . I'm not too crazy about the relentless repetition of the first line of every stanza, tho. I think repetition works better when it's done 2 or 3 times, but not this much. When this much repetition is really calling to your heart, tho, I'd like to suggest trying a little bit different way of saying this sentiment, to break up the monotony & add some interest. I like the way your narrator is running away, then running toward . . . this gives us the feeling that he/she is not in control of his/her responses at all . . . just being pushed willy-nilly by strong reactions to all the things life brings.