Undermind

There's a place you can't find,
It's under my mind.
It can be wonderful, celestial,
But the dark prevails and it becomes bestial.

All you can hear are screams,
Agony set up the new regimes.
Distress comes in so many ways,
As the clouds die in flames.

You can see a rope.
And it's harder to cope
When you have to cross,
Fear has its own way to emboss.

I had nothing to tell,
I made a step but I fell.
On a grey, reticent rocks,
On a rocks covered with blood.
It was the mark of some grief,
Grief that began before the ancient flood.

Angel can't you see?
Agony is making a new decree,
A faceless enemy.
Will you save me?
Won't you set me free?

Where are you, the killer of grief?
Where are you, the late falling leaf?
Where are you, the fear graver?
Where are you, my saviour?

Author's Note

Yep, feelings on the paper. It wasn't hard. Tell me if there's any grammar mistakes or something!

Reviews

[PaperLife]

Beautiful. Dark. Captivating. Your words are an ocean to build and the age old build of hope. But lost hope. Where everything collides and at the last moments ends. With the silence. The anger. The hopelessness stored in over ridden circles of confusion. Your words ache in a way that's hard to explore. And yet, I can understand by feeling. They're deep, passionate. Almost evil in a way as it portrays the evil based on life itself. Your words scream power where it was lost. Hardness. Pain. Lifeless reasons forced into the crazed moments where you're last breath is your first. The last sentence reaches out though and forces in the point where it's all alone. Where there's no coming back, but falling into it again. I can't help feeling everything and then having it play back in my mind. The way you feel it and the way I've felt it. Beautiful. It's crazed and bloodied. Powered and horror filled. Amazing. Your words exposed. And died. In an array of pastel grays and blacks and blues. And faded into the uttered words of the intellectual parts of your heart. Well done.

[R.A. Youngblood]

Thank you so much! I'm glad that you like it. You described it very artistic, and behind your every word the truth is hiding, you understand me, my feelings. Verse lenght is bad, I noticed. Thanks again my fellow! :D

[Barbara Walker]

Powerful imagery! Fourth stanza, drop the word "a" in the third line and also, in the fourth line. Then you have nothing to detract from this great poem!

[R.A. Youngblood]

Thanks! :D

[Melobldnfr]

Put me in mind of something I read once: ""The treachery of demons is nothing compared to the betrayal of an angel." --Brenna Yovanoff, THE SPACE BETWEEN, p.323

[Lily Mae]

So powerful..... the questioning of fate and that last stanza nailed it.. Excellent write..xo