Our New Year's

I could feel the alcohol buzzing through my brain. Picking up my phone, I scrolled to your name and called. You answered a simple 'Hello', my heart stopped beating that moment. I forgot what your voice sounded like and how much I missed it. I asked if you could meet me at the park, to talk. You gladly agreed, saying you'd be there in 10 minutes.

As I walked towards the park, I thought to myself: Why? Why would I ask you to meet me? Why did I want to see you so badly? I hoped that maybe I'd feel better after this, maybe. Once I arrived I saw you instantly, you looked exactly the same. The same six foot, brown hair, brown eyed boy with the sweetest smile. You saw me and your face lit up like how it would when were together. 

"Hey," you grinned. 

"Hi, how's the family? Especially you, how are you doing?" I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from crying, I forced a smile back.

"They're fine. The dogs are doing okay, mom and dad are out with the little one. Me? I'm not doing that great honestly. Pretty tired and stuff, this is the first time I've gone out since then." You nodded.

When you said then I knew you meant since I broke up with you. 

You continued, "I hope you know I never left, I wasn't the one who left."

"I know you didn't leave, I did. I had to leave you, you left me before. I couldn't be with someone who didn't love me the way I loved them and who ignored me. I need this, I need to tell you all of this. I love you still and I won't stop most likely. I was always there for you but, you weren't for me. You left me for the girls who you actually loved but never admitted it. So I left, so you could left her without feeling guilty. I'm doing great right now. I've been going out more and reading more," I softly said.

"I don't know what you think, but, I miss you. I really miss you. I'd really love to be friends again. Also, that's great that you're doing well." You sighed.

I felt my heart beat faster when you said you missed me. You missed me even though I left you and told you that I no longer wanted to love you. I was also upset, it was unfair. How could you say you missed me once I left? You were the one who started to ignore me and forget me. You did it all on purpose.

I closed my eyes and huffed the air as I spoke, "You can't say you miss me when you were the one who drove me away. You started to ignore me and said you were always busy when you'd text your other friends or leave me to hangout with your friends. I did miss you, I missed you so much that I started to regret letting you go. I'm so much better now though. I stopped missing you because we're better off without each other."

"That's not true, I'm not better off without you. You probably are without me. I'll still be here if you want to be friends again," you looked at me with sad eyes.

"I'm thankful for the great two years you gave me. Now, I want a great year with myself. I hope you have a good year too. Happy New Years, Anthony." I looked into your eyes, then walked away.