Closer

Freeverse..Just needed to write.

Thump...Thump....Thump..

                          What is that..?

                               Thump..Thump..

                                      There it is again.

                                                         Thump..

                                                               Could it be..?

                                                                                    ...

Oh.. It's gone.

Silly little heart.

I should have known better 

than to have thought that you would

Beat again. 

Amazing. 

How a single glance at you

Both takes my breath away

And brings me to life

But a peek at her

Stills it again.

It shouldn't.

It really shouldn't.

I'm such a silly little girl.

With a silly little mind.

Thinking silly little thoughts.

And drawing silly little hearts

On her notebook when she should in fact

Be studying.

But my mind is overcome by thoughts of you.

By thoughts of her.

My eyes are overcome by tears

Of what is.

Of what has been.

Of what will be.

They never seem to stop. 

And surprisingly,

I never seem to sob.

That's how you tell the deviation, you know.

Between my tears.

Heavy sobbing is the result of stress buildup.

There is no abstaining. 

No refusing it.

It's sporadic.

It's emotional.

It's ridiculous

I admit.

But when my breathing stills

And I close my eyes

I ponder the lies.

And gaze at the dark blue sky and 

Breathe.

Then...a tear. 

Just one at first.

Then many.

A 

 sweet 

    cascade 

          of 

         memories..

       . . . .

Falls.

Bittersweet.

They fall unceremoniously 

to

  the

     ground..

A sweet,tender, smile is exchanged.

But not between us.

It's her..

This thing inside me-

This machine

This implement

This incessant apparatus

Threatens to breach my chest and 

Lash out

It confounds me..

No, controls me!

I want to be rid of it and these dim attentions..

I want you to be happy..

So I close my eyes

And gaze once more at the sky and 

Pray.

The only thing that brings me 

comfort or solace.

I pray for my lips

So that they won't loose poison

I pray for my mind

So that it will pacify

I pray for my fingertips

So that when you caress mine

I will have the strength to 

Return the gesture. 

I pray for my eyes

So that when she comes to stand 

Closer to you

I can look away.

You are my world, 

My universe.

And in this black hole that she has constructed

I am a cosmic castaway.

I can see it

In the way she laughs,

In the way you embrace.

I'm such a silly little girl

Writing silly little words in the back of her notebook.

For now I would rather                       |     |

...Sink...

into this 

Beautiful 

Cancerous

Lie.

Thump...Thump....Thump..

                          What is that..?

                               Thump..Thump..

                                      There it is again.

                                                         Thump..

                                                               Could it be..?

                                                                                    ...

Oh.. It's gone.

Author's Note

Written at about 2 in the morning.. So I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense lol. Written on a sudden emotional impulse..thought I would share it with you guys. Please tell me what you think? I fully planned on making shapes with the words but..it's late lol. And my computer is screwing up.
♥Em

Reviews

This is amazing! The format adds to the feelings being conveyed and the thoughts and emotions are clear and evocative. Nice write!

[Raven Starhawk]

It had a suspenseful feel to it and at the time in the morning everything feels a bit louder than usual and more pronounced. Still nevertheless this was a good read.

[ScaryTrees]

it's cool
sure playing around with the format might be fun
but it transcends simple emo scribbling and conveys mature emotion

sure
play with it
but
it is quite there
already ;)