Chemical Nebula

A poem I wrote many, many years ago. I really don't know why I can remember it so well. It never had any real meaning.

This corpse floats through the rivers of space,

safe from the children who shed tears of chaos,

and the insufferable chimes of roadside prophets.

No eyes can hear the taste of magic,

enveloping long, cold nights of electric harmony

with Nothingness.

Life mundane, an anticlimax of antiseptic performance

played out on a stage full of idiots, dead and gone now

are the Baker street regulars, when both beer and piss lose

their flavor.

Caresses of disease, borne on the threadbare rags of 

a w***e grant me the weakness to stare into the midnight

light, coming, coming, came.

Author's Note

No review necessary. Just thought it might be entertaining if anyone reads this while on psychedelics.

Reviews

[GypsyMoonCat]

Well, cant say I'm on psychedelics at 1100 am EST lol! But I did find this interesting, well worded and structured. I have a couple of suggestions though:

after ".... a stage full of idiots" I'd suggest a dash instead of a comma. I think it keeps the flow better.

Maybe I'm dense, but I also thought that where you say "... coming, coming, came" maybe "gone" or "done" would be a better word than "came" or even "spent". I think I know what you're trying to say here, but it's nice to keep folk guessing in poetry, isn't it?

Overall though, I enjoyed this very much. I can see I've a lot to learn about free verse when I read stuff like this. Cheers!