The Imp

a personal poem about forgiveness and how change even when it seem nigh impossible is possible.

 -A shattered frame of mind-

Some people think violence is fun or funny

 Some people profit off of it that’s how governments make money

A lot of our so-called prophets use it to keep things running

I used to display violent behavior now ain’t that something.

I’m mean Christ, every night after the family went to bed and hit the lights

I beat that dog, it couldn’t even put up a fight, but it would go run and hide.

I thought of killing others, just my self most of the time.

I enjoyed pain and suffering I empathized with what they felt

I didn’t  have a moral compass, couldn’t criticize myself

I thought to my self, what I s****y brain I’d been dealt

I moved away though for me there was no help.

Ate seven grams of cubenisis, and in its essence, I tried to best him 

That violent f*****g imp I tried to test him. 

Had an existential crisis that leads me to depression now who am I impressin’? 

Seems the little imp had slept, in wondered how he had crept in

Couple months later over women, I was stressing

Kept them selfishly close to what I thought was my heart

I didn’t have an ounce of true love to give from the start.

Started acting crazy, my mood constantly changing

One girl I couldn’t manipulate and the imp started banging

 Shouting do it Jaden tie the noose let them see you hanging

 Or better yet take your medication, find a vein then

 Stick a needle in it, grab the back of the pen and twist it

 Don’t stop till that dial is at one hundred

 No one can love a monster like us, I’m am everything you are nothing

 Kill your self or kill someone else this pressure is crushing

 You took a s**t on your life now let the needle do the flushing.

 I pushed in the injection, then along came a thought with an interjection

 Jaden you’ve been tuned into the wrong signal you need better reception

 You’ve got this one life and now you leapt into an option with no return

 why don’t you talk to someone I promise they will be concerned

 you’ve done lots of good for your friends in the past

don’t let this moment be your last.

I cast off the sluggishness of my self-induced coma

Pulled myself across the floor feeling like I could throw up

Grabbed a bottle of maple syrup, chugged it like it was cola

From then on every time the imp spoke I would be like hold up

Who the f**k are you even? you definitely aren’t me

See I had never met you before the age of seventeen

You tempered and tempted me to make others bleed

I’m done listening and I’ll never again concede. 

He laughed then and I laughed too

He said see I am a part of you, I swear it’s true

I’m just a part consumed by your view

Let’s start becoming humorous and we will never be blue.

I don’t have a clue to draw any conclusions,

But now after the fact, after I cleared the confusion

I made a fusion with the goofiest part of me

Turned my aloofness into something artsy

Changed my thoughts became the life of the party

Partly due to others help, partly due to myself

Trained my reactions to all the things I have felt

Set myself on a better course

Even though the pain is from remorse 

I kept the lessons that took their course 

Saw the source deep within my soul

Had to forgive myself let go of the emotions that took ahold

Breathed my way through a bitter cold

Then sold myself a better life, did away with all my lies

And opened up both my eyes

Recognized all life as a divine design

Don’t mistake me for preaching any doctrine

Not at least in any classical sense this isn’t a prelude to Nocturne

Even if you don’t believe in anything you must recognize

The sheer fact of how lucky you are to be alive

On top of that, not just some simple cell made to photosynthesize,

But with a creative mind and individualized

There is a lot of violence in this world only a fool would tell you otherwise

But to be violent or bring peace is only something you can decide. 

                                                          -Jaden Douglas

Author's Note

both the image and poem were created by me.