Whoever

please review thanks for reading

Writing time capsules of lost faith,

to a note on a flower before an engagement.

Expressing with loves might limits it,

Constant redemption that must be lit.

Again and again unveiling intimacy,

Yet saving the last, til He molds the clay.

But until we part and meet without decaying time,

Comfortable I remain with glee.

Difference collide but I plead,

That you'll both let me be caught and free.

For my heart is all I have to give,

but without yours my mind leaves my body trembling.

Till the last pedal falls,

A beast with only one cause.

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

For my heart is all I have to give,
but without yours my mind leaves my body trembling. -- great lines.

I think this is probably one of your better pieces in terms of concept and emotional connection. I really "felt" this one as i read, and the yearning/learning aspect of this one really felt strong. I can see a metaphor here; a larger one at work beyond the words, and that was also nicely played. Some hiccups in the flow, but nothing too distracting, particularly the line "expressing with loves might limits it" -- I think you need it to be "love's" because you are talking about a possession of love, and the word "might" having sort of double meaning had me reading over that line a couple of times. Other than that...truly enjoyed this one, my friend.

[Karl Woof Junior]

GOOD! you should not try to make sense of loves might lol

[nihilistictablelamp]

I absolutely adore this sublime piece. It seems that the protagonist relies on his other half a great deal. A magnificent poem depicting love that could easily shatter someone's soul, for the rely on it so often.