Missing Angel

A Collaboration Write by Fran Marie and David L.Price

 

    
Snow skirts another new day
still my mind envisions pink.
Warm and sunny dreams of you stay

where I am its dark as night
I slumber yet still I think
I long to see and hold you tight

Chilled weather holds it's grip
and nips my cheek, yet I think
of the enticing warmth of your lips

Your touch stimulates electrical synapses
I feel your lips and want to drink
I see our life in brilliant flashes

Icy tree limbs bend in deep freeze harm
but my heart is feeling insync,
knowing I'll soon be in your arms

You can’t hear but I scream to be heard
Perhaps a telepathic link
Then you’d know I hear your words

Blustery winds breathe without care
yet my soul inhales your love's drink
and weary woes do ease when you're here 

The blustery winds won’t take me away
My resolve to stay won’t bend or kink
I’m coming home, your love it lights the way. 

 

Author's Note

Fran wrote Stanzas 1,3,5,7
Dave wrote Stanzas 2,4,6,8

Reviews

[Cold Coffee Magazine]

This is another example that two riters can blend their thoughts and imagination to create one literary work of art. It doesn't always come together so easy I assure you but Fran is a fabulous writer and sometimes when I read her work I think, or maybe it is I want to believe, we think alike. i love the voice of the female charcter in this. It begs of having something that was taken away, the warmth of her love. When I wrote the male voice for this piece I wanted to echo that sentiment but from the stand point that he can't make it back. That hes right there but at the same time a world away. He can hear her and sense her touch but can't see her, talk or move to her. The male voice in this is in a coma desperately trying to find away back to his love.

I don't know if everyone can pick that out of the words but there it is.

I loved doing this piece. Fran is a truely wonderful talent.

Dave

[L.G. Knight]

You know its a wonderful write when you don't even need a guide on what stanzas are what... I knew when reading before I even read the comment...
It really is a great write...
I would love to read some of your co-writers works because this just has such wonderful flow and rhyme... the two of you kept to the topic and eachothers rhythms so well while still allowing your own flare in it... Such a wonderful peice of writing colaboration... GREAT JOB!

~Frances~

[Carole]

Very nice...great rhythm and rhyme all the way through. Had to be a challenge and is amazing. One would never know one person didn't write the whole thing. A contest write, maybe? Great job!

[Diana Owen Busy with Li..]

beautiful imagery... you did an absoultely brilliant job.

[CarrieLynn {Chameleon A..]

very lovely write...they mesh very well together...lots of good imagery as well! Great Write! :)

[Genie]

I agree with Robert -- this is good! The clever rhyme of synapses and flashes is a highlight, but the images are intriguing and make me want to know more. Is s/he a sailor, perhaps?

There are a couple of very minor punctuational pinches -- 'weather holds its grip' (no apostrophe), and there should be no comma after 'your love' in the last line (otherwise the reader pauses too long) -- but they don't impede the beauty of the poem.

A good example of a successful collaboration, friends. Well done!

[Robert Luna]

This has a great flow and really was visual to imagine. I think you you guys have something here. I definitely think you should do this again. Words and thought coming together in perfect sync.


Great Job!!!!!