Living without you

This is a poem I wrote to cope with the pain of losing my best friend.

The thought of you is a throat full of glass,
a deep stinging pain which always seems to last,
The world lost someone special,
She was truly one in a million,
A girl with a mind and a heart which was truly brilliant,
A gentle soul with a loving smile,
Her heart pure gold,
Kindness her style, Her laughter sweet music,
Her eyes twinkling stars,
Though she's physically gone she's truly not far,
She lives on in memories through actions and words,
Through past, present, and future
Through all that occurred,
Through pictures and conversations,
From morning through night,
She continues to bring smiles, love, laughter, and light,
So though it may hurt that she's physically gone,
May we find comfort in knowing her personality lives on

Reviews

[k]

First, I would just like to say I'm sorry for your loss. This is a beautifully written poem. The tone/writer's voice is really strong here. You have a lot of nice rhymes and even the slanted rhymes flow really well. There's a nice rhythm here and your opening line is really strong and pulls the reader in. A few things to consider in revision: You switch the point of view from second person (the thought of YOU is a throat full of glass) to third person (SHE was truly one in a million). For consistency, I recommend picking one and sticking with it for the whole poem. Another thing to consider is your punctuation in the following section: "Her heart pure gold, | Kindness her style, Her laughter sweet music, | Her eyes twinkling stars". I understand what you're saying here, but your punctuation doesn't indicate your meaning. I recommend, "Her heart, pure gold; | kindness, her style; her laughter, sweet music; | her eyes, twinkling stars." You also use no periods during the poem where in a lot of places they would be appropriate. Find the end of your sentences and tell us it's the end of that particular thought. Good work, I hope this review is helpful!