Unknown

Been wrestling with writer's block recently but managed to produce this one in the midst of it

Torn and divided between lifestyles I find that I'm caught here and blinded by fears I decided on years ago,
I'll take a ticket so far from here and go free, Just forget about me and everything you think you know,
I begged the world to slow down but found common ground with those who would never grow,
I hung with recluses and made my excuses til my brain justified all the rage and abuses it suffered at it's own hands,
I've spent grands on the booze but it only served to prove that I'm forever born to lose,
All these holes in my shoes just remind me that I choose to live this way,
See if I ever moved away I'd only open up wounds that I swore I'd once healed,
Return to thoughts I know aren't real but still fail to reveal the truth of,
Now every drink and every meal just makes me dream of something real,
Something more than just chipping away at the bedrock of existence in piecemeal chunks when I'd rather tread a path with some meaning;
See the problem with steeling your heart against the horrors of the world is that your armour weighs you down when you need buoyancy more than girls,
This tendency to drown our sorrows also serves to drown out any notion of tomorrow or the consequence that follows our decisions,
Drug-fuelled connections rarely help to bridge divisions between us and who we want to be or the future we'd love to see,
I often wish I could believe in a power above me,
Just to cultivate the feeling that the blame's shared equally,
Forever frequently reminded of a life I'll never see because I'm permanently blinded by my search for ecstasy,
And on the side, my search for someone to experience it with me,
Existing casually is fine until the water's at your knees
Because you never fixed that pipe although you knew it had a leak,
Any excuse that you can summon comes out desperate and weak
When faced against the fact that you let this reality be,
I will forever maintain that we overestimate the extent of control which we have on our lives;
But whether that's a solid philosophy or just a comforting lie is something I cannot determine, so I'll let you all decide,
All I know is that we're here and every time our lives collide I only hope that I can help you have a better one than mine.