Prayer of the Refugee.

Prayer of the Refugee.

A Poem by Ellie W. Montreal
"

Don't hold me up now, I can stand my own ground. I don't need your help now, You won't let me down, down, down.

"

Roughly written.
Barely smitten.
Bitterly spitten.
Quietly bitten.

I'm so unheard,
But I don't say a word;
I just simply observe,
Fearful that I'll rudely disturb.

When night moves to day,
"I'm so sad" turns into "I'm okay,"
And the thoughts of you will fade away,
So I smile to myself and walk away.

Maybe one day your writing will soften in growth,
Maybe then the amount of love you have will start to show.
Maybe then the spit you cast will have less sour flavor as you go.
Maybe then your bite will echo louder than before.

© 2009 Ellie W. Montreal


Author's Note

Ellie W. Montreal
Yeah.. I dunno I was just down and thinking randomly. Came together though. The main idea behind it all is that the narrator is at first naming traits about someone he/she loves, or flaws about him/herself. Then he/she realizes that he/she can't do anything to change how his/her person of interest feels about them because they've made their decision, so it's like their silenced. He/she moves on. He/she advises his/her [former?] love interest to begin showing a softer side, or at least some emotion if he/she wants to have companionship. yeah, sorry if I ruined it for you all. ツ

My Review

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Featured Review

I like what you did with the rhyme scheme here, carried the flow well. Great lines throughout the piece
e.g. "Maybe then the spit you cast will have less sour flavor as you go" - great way of expressing the hopes your narrator has for this person.
The author's note was helpful, didn't ruin anything.



Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Well, I think people shouldn't wait for that "one day". And I must say I was a bit confused by the author's note, but it did kinda help know what you were talking about.

Posted 14 Years Ago


I like what you did with the rhyme scheme here, carried the flow well. Great lines throughout the piece
e.g. "Maybe then the spit you cast will have less sour flavor as you go" - great way of expressing the hopes your narrator has for this person.
The author's note was helpful, didn't ruin anything.



Posted 14 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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2 Reviews
Added on May 29, 2009

Author

Ellie W. Montreal
Ellie W. Montreal

The Sunshit State!, FL



About
i'm Mychelle; you can call me Ellie, if you please, & i'd prefer you do. ツ i'm a poet. a really creative one. i also do photography. which i love more than anything more..

Writing