The Burden of Life

A short story.

Part 1 Why am I sweating, it's not even hot tonight. D****t, now my clothes and my blanket are all wet. 3 am... again, I better fall asleep fast this time I can't keep wasting my days feeling fatigued all the time. I feel like a chain is pulling on me in every waking second I am alive. Why am I even here still. Why is it so f*****g cold in here I was just sweating.. omg... don't tell me it's happening again. The door wide open, I began to walk toward the door from the couch I sleep on, but I'm stopped by Benjy. Go back to sleep Benjy, don't worry ill handle it like I always do. I get a towel and help the cold wind dry up my wet skin. I put on my favorite most simple black hoodie that was given to me by a girl which whom I used to talk to everyday and still kind of wished I did but who knows life is long. I walk into the cold, I can see my breath and Benjy won't stop watching until I scream at him to go inside. He is always quiet and never really speaks, but he sees everything. I walk up to my dad who has his knees on the dirt, he is crying again, but with a light sob this time as if he is getting tired of crying. He stares into my eyes and tells me "don't worry I will find them soon", "I promise im going to find them, and when I do we are gonna be rich." This was about the 7th time he had told me these words in just this past month and for some reason I feel as is if he doesn't even remember telling me about his crazy thoughts. My father is an odd man, our mom left us when Benjy turned 10 and has never come back since, but that was about 6 years ago and I'm only 2 years older than Benjy. My dad is a kind man but tends to speak to himself more often than he does with others. He also has this obsession with digging and does it any chance he gets and it all started right before mom left and he just never stopped digging. I tried asking him what it was he was talking about, but he just can't seem to focus on what you're saying and continues to ramble non sense as if someone is always talking to him and won't let him leave the conversation. This was always normal to us as we would see it all the time growing up, but I remember one event specifically, one time when I had friends over and my dad had one of his episodes, he had finished his 375ml of cheap vodka that night and was looking for more but couldn't find any, had no money to go buy more, and as a result he went outside and dug the whole night and just whispered, "when I find you, you will belong to me again but this time, forever", my friends where speechless and where stunned at the entire situation. They gave me this blank stare as if I where living with the devil. Recycling thoughts and movements for countless hours until he passed out of exhausting. I just sat next to him and when he looked up, I would just smile as a parent would smile to their child. He ignores it every time and continues to talk gibberish. They have never seen anyone act this way before and after that night they never wanted too ever again. They always knew something was wrong with my dad considering we have been neighborhood friends for as long as I can remember, but after that night, they just changed; Part 2 Woah random flashback lol. "Get the f**k inside Benjy I'm not gonna tell you again." At first I used to tell him not to watch because I didn't want him seeing dad like this but then I realized he is just as used to it as I am, but we shouldn't both lose sleep over this luck. "Dad lets go back to sleep Benjy is tired and needs to go to school tomorrow." He replies in a low voice, "Just one more minute Benjy, just one more minute please, don't worry I'm gonna save you from this hell, I'm gonna save us all." I used to believe him at one point in my life, but that all changed over time and I learned that words mean nothing. I waited a couple hours for him to be finished with his ritual and eventually he got tired and started slowing down. I hated this part, he weighs about 162 pounds and at 5 am it's not something you want to do. Benjy came out, he always seemed to be there at the right times. We picked him up and threw him on his mattress and tried to get some sleep. Six-thirty already... Better get ready for school. "Benjy wake the f**k up." Then I hit him in the ribs to wake him up for school. I make eggs and oatmeal for everyone like any other morning. I leave some for dad and leave our apartment. Benjy and I have no beef with anyone from the hood but when our dad has one of his episodes and goes around the neighborhood he makes enemies fast. Not because he is looking for a fight but because he tries telling people about his infatuation with finding his treasure. Let's just say people do not tolerate this behavior around here and every time I have to apologize or end up fighting for him. Usually it ends well because people respect me and Benjy, but our dad takes it too far at times and doesn't know how to shut up. We see the neighborhood gangstas and they ask "ay what happen to your pops last night he freaking out again? You need to get him some help that n****s f*****g crazy." I reply "haha nah he was just drunk it's all good." One of the guys I hate the most speaks and said, "Ay Benjy why are you so quiet? Are you afraid you're gonna talk non sense like that f*****g psycho of a dad you have hahaha." They all laughed and Benjy replied, " At least I have people who love me." I hit Benjy in his chest, winded him, and told him to shut the f**k up. He replied," You better not let me catch your family slipping." We kept walking and split up since Benjy is still in high school. I always get a bit worried with Benjy, he is always smiling, laughing, and never gets mad, but when things get serious and it's an issue that matters to him greatly, he just snaps and becomes uncontrollable with rage. I'm just afraid I won't be there when it happens to stop him because I seem to be the only person he listens too; Part 3 I go to school sit through the bullshit that's school and leave after my 3 classes. I get home and dad is still passed out and Benjy is still at school. I relax for an hour then leave to work and see Benjy's girlfriend rose who I cross paths with everyday on the way to work. She is short,light, green eyes, and has freckles. She is the nicest person I have ever met and Benjy and her are perfect for each other. Both of them are quiet but are always smiling when around each other. It's a warm feeling seeing him happy, sometimes it makes me wonder. "Is Benjy still gonna work later today?", Rose asked suddenly. "No he got the day off for the party and I'm getting out early so get ready for some fun!!" Rose smiles and sais, "haha ok I'll see you later, you better get there in time for the fun." I get to work and my boss starts with the usual complaints. I work at a car factory and I'm shift lead and some days we don't meet quotas causing us to make up for it with more labor. It's Friday and I'm feeling good, I'm about to party in a few hours, so I'm not even mad at all of the complaints I'm receiving. It's time for lunch which means I get to go home. Suddenly, my boss walks up to me and tells me I need to stay for an extra hour. I'm not to thrilled about it but I'm feeling good so it's ok. I skip lunch and get back to the line I wasn't the only one who had to stay, so we all hop on it and start working. I look at the time and I only have 15 minutes left and then I'm gonzo. "F**K, F**K, SOMEONE HELP." It sounded like John, I run over to him and I stare at him in horror. John... Are you ok.. His scalp is half hanging and blood is pouring down his face. His hair got caught on the converter belt and got hooked to a metal piece and couldn't rip off the big strands of hair in time. He just stood there in shock, he can feel all the blood running down his face like the Nile river feeding the millions in spring time. It Is endless, I have seen people get beat up, stabbed, and even shot, but this.. This is foul our supervisor comes and tells everyone to take the day off. They shut down the entire factory, John didn't even make it too the ambulance, I stayed just watching as they took his lifeless body. His wife crying uncontrollably and I can't seem to shed a single tear even though John was one of the first friends I made here. It really made me cherish all of the things I had, because they can be taken from you at any moment. A whole hour had passed since the incident and everyone had left, the people,ambulances, police. They said John was being careless, so maybe he earned his death, I'm not to sure. As I'm on the bus I can't stop picturing John's 3 year old twin daughters, now they have no one to protect them. We had just gone to their birthday party the previous weekend. It makes me feel so empty inside, but yet so alive, because well I am alive and what's left to do other than to live. I finally arrive at the house and everyone is already drunk and having a good time. All of my friends are here, Benjy and Rose's friends, oh and my dad. He can't seem to put the alcohol down and is already the drunkest person here. He usually behaves and talks about his days in the Vietnam war and you would never think he would have the episodes he has. I greet everyone and start having a few beers. I'm starting to feel really good and say "I want to thank everyone for coming over today, but tonight I lost a co-worker and a friend. So tonight lets get fucked up! Cheers for John may he rest In piece and may God bless his family." I start talking about what happened with John to all of my friends and how he was so chill and I would have never thought it would happen to anyone I know. As I finish the story I step outside for a cigarette and see a group of shadows. "SHUT THE F**K UP OLD MAN IM TIRED OF YOUR S**T." It was one of the gangsters and he seemed fed up with whom appeared to be my father. I was not even surprised by this just slightly annoyed. I run up, Benjy was already here and he stepped up to the gangster and was ready to fight for dad. Benjy didn't even like to fight but would stand up for anyone he cares about on any day given. I told Benjy to take dad inside and that I would handle it. The guy I hate happens to be there too and sais, "f**k that, your family has had enough chances and pulls out a knife." Benjy pulls out his as well and next thing you know dad, Benjy, and I are outnumbered 3 to 6. I scream at Benjy, "GET THE F**K INSIDE BENJY RIGHT NOW." The guy I hate interrupts and said,"yah Benjy be a good b***h and listen to your brother." My dad gets up and starts walking towards them with a bottle in his hand while chugging it, I grab him mid way and throw him behind me on the floor. I tell them "Let's not do this its not gonna end well for anyone." My dad gets up one more time and spits on them and said, "You guys ain't gonna do s**t you f*****g p*****s." They called his bluff and started beating the f**k out of us 2 of them on each of us. My dad drunk and helpless took a beating and was laying there with no movement but yet still getting barraged by blows. I screamed out "SOMEONE F*****G HELP." After what seemed like an eternity the party came out and the crowd was huge. The fighting had stopped, my dad got up and was bleeding all over the place. I yell, "WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH YOU!" He gives me a blank look and looks around for his drink. I shrug it off I have had enough of him for today. Rose screams out and starts crying out tears uncontrollably, she is staring at Benjy on the ground. He isn't moving and her hands are covered in blood. I run over and he looks so pale and having trouble breathing. He has 3 huge holes on his stomach and it reminded me of John all over again. This time it's different I don't feel empty. I fee rage. I run inside the house and I take out my .22 and I run back out and point it at the guy who I hate who had the knife. Everyone is just watching the crowd is huge at least 30 people are watching and it is completely quiet. My friends are trying to calm me down, but not this time. I look at my dad and I stare at him and we lock eyes and tears start rolling down my eyes and he just stares at me with that same blank stare and said, "I told you I would free Benjy, now it's our turn." This rage I have only felt once before when mom left us, this anger and sorrow consumes me, it's too many emotions to handle. My hands start shaking and I start crying uncontrollably and I scream at him "STOP F*****G WITH ME. Why would you let them take my little brother." I point the gun to my dad. The tears won't stop and the thought of my little brother being gone forever makes me feel crazy. My friends are begging me not to do it, but I have already set my mind to it. I pull the trigger and it's all over. The misery, this hell, all over with finally, because the people on this planet are already living in hell, just leaving this realm is heaven in itself. Then nothingness forever. A year passed by and rose walks alone to the cemetery with two white roses. She puts them both on top of the tomb which said, "here lies the two brothers who had a bond to the death"..

andimjustwritingthispartsoifyoureadthisfirstitdoesntspoilttheendinghah