Aspiring Sociopath

Here we have a story of a young girl

Born in the winter "Horns blow for Gabrielle!"

First Staten Island baby of the year!

Time flies, eighteen years go by and the sun has died

Those horns we once blew have been replaced

With the sounds and vibrations of music from another generation

Dirty lyrics make everyone who they are today

And me with my split personality

Maybe it's borderline,

Or perhaps I've crossed all lines

They say the answers are within,

Only you can be your help

So I drag the razor across my skin

Hoping to find out

The blood releases and the air feels like heaven

My eyes red, shot, and demented

We never are what we intended

Jump back to when I was too young

You touched me, used me, left me to burn

To spend the rest of my life on the run

Afraid of my body

Disgusted by lust

But what can I do?

Life is magnificent

A beautiful Art

I can't change what has been

I'm not afraid of myself, of you, or Him

No, not anymore

I drive fast because I've forgotten to care

Only in the night do I come alive

Under the creamy breeze and vanilla moonlight

When I'm alone is when I finally feel right

No need to fake a smile

You can't lie to yourself

What have I done?

That girl I once knew is gone, gone, gone

The blood is on my hands

Am I crazy? Hell yeah!

Do you like me now?

If only you could see

Everybody knows I'm a mess

They watch as I undress

Standing naked, my soul detached

What's there left to say?

My Daddy beat me?

Please, He beat my mom too.

I'm filled with poison

I'm fucked and deranged

But that's okay, It's just fine

I'm an Aspiring Sociopath

Who's lost her f*****g mind

Reviews

[Jake Donald Stephens]

I wish I was doing this review on a computer instead of a phone, because I want to give it a long one, but I guess I'll make do....
First off, just to start with something unexpected... this totally sounded like a rap in my head as I read it.
Second, it's probably your most powerful work yet, and I hope it's helpful to you to get these feelings out like this. (I just wrote a poem myself, which kinda helped me to write, though it's almost silly in nature compared to yours).
But I do know a thing or two about being fucked up, though if notes were to be compared, I guess I was only molested that one time in 7th grade by a male teacher, which may or may not have contributed to years and years of sexual identity issues and helpless feelings of inadequacy as a male.......but I digress; this is a review of your poem, and should be about you.
I hate whoever hurt you (your father, from the sound of it in this one.) I wish no child ever had to be harmed or traumatized, and I hate the person who did this to you, because he hurt my friend, damn it. I know most people don't understand....... they think you just need medication and therapy, and then you can put it all behind you and move on and be a productive person and a spouse and a parent and live happily ever f*****g after. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. You will always be like this. If your arm gets cut off as a child, you're gonna be armless for life. Same thing with this. I know. I'm there with you, even if our situations aren't identical.
Thanks for sharing, as always.

[Gabby Nieves]

Thank you for your reviews all the time, they're definitely appreciated. And you're right, this will never go away and I hope no body gets sick of this recurring theme because most times when I put that pen down it turns into stuff like this. I'm laughing that you read it as a rap because I just read it that way too lol call me lil G. I guess it's the rhyme scheme. But anywsys, I'm balways happy to read your reviews, as you are someone who understands. And thats very meaningful to me. I hope you understand why I've lost my sanity (whoohooo) . I dont know how to cope and I never did. But hey, f**k it right? I guess some of us are delt with a s**t hand of cards and that's what we have to deal with. What can you do but lose your mind and try to have fun with it? Hope all is well my friend, and thank you so much for all your help.

[Destined for Boring]

I find the humor in this poem quite fantastic. :)
Crazy though, I can relate, just not on the same levels. I'm here and you are there but some paths do cross for a moment.

[Gabby Nieves]

I'm glad you liked it and could relate in any ways

[Hitchhiker]

Thank you, a poet who can scream out frustration and all the bad things in her life. But does she BLAME everybody? No, hell no. This is one chick who knows who she is and probably who she is going to become down the road. Love, love the grit within the lines of this poem. Love everything about it. Kickass poetry . . .

[Gabby Nieves]

Haha thank you very much

[George Peck]

Powerful sad but your not crazy so what if you are the best people usually are. Just because you suffer when you are young doesn't mean you suffer always. When we were kids we had to learn not to be afraid of the dark. When we become adults we learn not to be afraid of our childhood. You can do it you'll make it in this life.

[Gabby Nieves]

Thank you so much, I appreciate this.