R word

i don't know if you've ever heard me talk
but i sound just like you.
i sound like a monster
the distance between us keeps me insane
i was already driven to that place
bound to become a threat to society
who will i be?
a person who claims beauty is everything
when it's not even in me
it's inside supposedly
i don't see it though
i've looked for years and i still can't seem to find
that peace of mind
the piece in my head saying not to give up yet
i have already
these written words to traumatize my hope
the rape connected to emotion
you tell them to stop but they keep on going
the monster inside of me is growing because of you,
you tormented my mentality
i don't blame the decision i could've made..
closed my eyes and let my heart break
and like a river i kept on flowing