The American Faust: A Dark Story by G.I.A.

Soul selling to the Devil

Once upon a time, a Very Very rich salesman, bored with his golden toilets, wanted to be King. The Devil told him: "My bidding, you do. King, you shall be". So the Very Very rich salesman sold his soul to the Devil and became Faust, the red hair.

Faust embarked on his campaign and surrounded himself with the Mean, the Nasty, the Con, the Ban, and other attack dogs. He made his followers wear red hats to match his hair. He lied and cheated at will. He refused to believe in the Truth and worshiped the Fake. He admitted to no mistake and apologized only to himself. He bullied his opponents and the helpless. He blamed everyone and everything for all the ills but himself. He idolized the evils of the world, especially the shirtless ones. He made countless promises: to make America hate again; to build a great wall to keep the flies out and the gropers in; to replace the sick with the sicker; to help the Very rich become Very Very rich like him; to keep the other sex in the kitchen; to sell guns to babies; to tag the believers; to rebuild roads with pennies of the Needy; to create more work for ghosts; to punish carriers of things going in and out of the kingdom; to educate the young with empty schools; and finally, to allow more smog in order to promote whiter skins. To his delight, the Wicked Leakers, the Faux Balls Instigators, and the Judas' joined his Dark Side.

Then came that day of Time when the perpetual voodoo count makes a loser the winner of the King race. Faust the loser was stunned by his victory and quickly appointed mindless and faceless Nazguls as ministers. The red drywallers of Con Grease rejoicing their grip of the Hills were quick to kiss Faust's Assets and converted themselves into Hole cutters.

So started the reign of King Faust, the tremendous salesman of red hats, ever. On Day One, Faust and his Black Riders set to rewrite the Constitution:
We, the Blind, the Deaf, and the Mute of the Divided States, in Order to serve a more perfect Devil, renounce Truth, Freedom, Mother Nature, and Humanity ...