A Scar's Origin

Residing deep within a forest is a hunter named Maltov. He has secluded himself from any form of human civilisation ever since he learned to hunt prey bigger than him. He has a huge scar on his chest, but the reason for this scar is, oddly enough, unbeknownst to him. Obsessed with this scar, he has done everything he can possibly do to find out the story behind it for 5 years, but to no avail.

One fateful day, he finds himself travelling within a significantly odd biome, with heavy snow and thick mist covering everything, giving off an eerie and mysterious atmosphere. As he continues to traverse through, the cold starts to become unbearable, his movement slows down, struggling to even walk another step, his body falls to the freezing snow-covered ground, and ultimately falls into a trance. As he regains consciousness, he is puzzled as he finds himself in his hut, while still remaining in the snow-filled misty biome. He feels immense pain on his chest and upon looking down, he discovers a huge wound that has somehow developed into a scar, yet is still causing a great deal of pain. Afterwards, group of hooded people suddenly enter, giving Maltov a basket filled with colourful food that has an enticingly pungent aroma, but the mysterious people warned him to never touch nor consume even a bite as long as the snow and mist are still within sight. He hesitantly agrees, since he’s left with no other options either way. He is accompanied by a seductive woman with an incredibly revealing outfit, consisting of nothing but her hood and a mask. With the peculiar woman’s accompaniment, they begin walking for minutes, hours, days. Throughout their journey, the woman strangely finds herself captivated with him through their occasional talks. Maltov begins to feel weak. His movement is slowing down, the blinding combination of the mist and snow, the deafening silence, the intolerantly cold weather, he slowly starts to give up and to succumb to the food-filled basket’s temptation with its alluring aroma and mouth-watering appearance. She reassures him that it is only a few steps away, and sure enough after a little more amount of travelling by foot, they come before a long and narrow bridge. As they bid farewell to each other, the woman suddenly takes off her mask and reels in for a kiss. Maltov, startled, decides to just go with it. As their lips touch, they both refuse to stop, savouring every moment as their tongues play with each other, all the while enjoying one another’s sweet and addicting taste. She stops midway, looks him straight into the eyes, and tells him to keep walking through the bridge and to never look back, not until there aren’t any more snow and mist in sight. He nods yes, and as he reels in for another kiss, the woman turns into mist and is blown away by the wind. Baffled with the events that just transpired, he frantically looks around, looking for her, but after a significant amount of time, he ultimately gives up, crosses the bridge as how the woman instructed, and finds himself back to his hut. Starving, he consumed the food, and immediately fell asleep.

As he awakens, he recalls everything that happened, assuring himself that it is not merely a dream. Looking down at his chest, he notices the huge scar, and at that moment, as he confirms that everything that happened is indeed a reality, he vows to somehow return there to reunite with the peculiar woman, the only other human that he has ever been comfortable with.

Reviews

[Ysa]

Great word choices!!! You are talented and hold more potential to write better than this! The plot holes does kind of ruin your short story. You use words most people won't really use, the atmosphere or mood and pace is very engaging to the reader's mind! Unfortunately, the story is quite weird though, please consider editing this and fix the issues here :) I believe you can write better than this!

[moongirl]

What I liked most about this was the vocabulary, and your style of writing is really evident. There were some plotholes though, it would've been better if you explained the scar in depth. But you do have potential, because your way of describing was exceptional.

[fishball]

The writer certainly has a great imagination and has great choice of words for storytelling. I hope the author would at least write a continuation because I never knew what the scar's origin really was. Also, the author has great potential for writing fictional stories like these. :))

[Lachimolala]

word of choice fits the grammar:)

[alfon]

Ang ganda nito, Gian!!! May potential ka sa pagsusulat!!! :)))