Dying To Fly

My friend decided he was going to take E.

My greatest fear?
Losing loved ones I care for.
One having been realised when I lost my Granda.
Not even in an unfair way
He smoked.
Got lung cancer
And died.

But seeing someone so close
S
 L
 O
   W
      L
        Y
           Slipping
                      Away
Killed me inside.

The last thing I said to him,
Was in a text
To mum:
"Tell Granda, I love him too."
The next day he was gone.

The last thing I spoke to him,
Was a lie:
"I'll see you next week Granda,
Promise."
A promise I never kept.
And I never could.

The last thing he spoke:
"I'm going home"
His eyes closed.
Lines from his favourite hymn.
Hymn,
Hymn,
Him gone.

I lost my Granda,
To smoke,
To tobacco,
To an object those today now see as
COOL.

A way to relax,
To chill with your mates.
Only today,
That isn't enough.
Kids today
Want a bigger buzz.

The exotic locations of  
Class C.
Class B.
Class A.
Class A IDIOTS!

Stats and quotes could spout
From my ever-protesting
[Never heard]
Mouth.
But my main dispute:
Why do those I care for
Take a risk
[It MAY go wrong]
That doesn't need to be taken?

And when people do:
Do they know the facts?
Have they checked they are safe?
Do they avoid hydration?
Should they take more that 1?

Och, but then…
If they are there. Use them.
Why waste. We only live
Once.
Make it good.
Fun.
Fab.
Seemingly yells the voice
Of every other humanoid
On this thrill [idiot] loving planet.

Why do it? I care for you.

Author's Note

I don't like this one... now reading back on it. It speaks too coldly of my Granda. I don't like what I did.

Reviews

[Bethany Woody]

I like the interesting freestyle flow of this and the way it is writen. It is touching and a little heartbreaking. It makes a reader sit back and think about the actions they have taken in life, the reationships they have with other people, and how they can be better as a person.

[Lola Nation]

this is a nice conversational piece - starts off fairly simplistic factual and matter of...

then the slope is nicely illustrated.

I think this part is cliche - and could be removed "Killed me inside." -- nothing kills anyone inside, and no I know it's not literal but it's just a lacking phrase for anyone - describing the feeling of "killed inside" would be more entertaining - dulled your empathy, slowed your mind, or whatever it did - to "kill you inside" but that phrase is vague, inside what - inside...yes, I technically know - but it's just not a good way to express oneself - we're writers, poets, we're suppose to have more words than we know what to do with - those are the ones that the non-writers use...ya know?

not sure what era you grew up in but smoking isn't very cool anywhere I know - however, I am a rebel.... nonetheless you could play with words and use KOOL like the brand... lost to smoke - yeah, true but you could expand - make us explore - lost to carbon not mine his oxide... or somehting clever and thoughtful - if it was worthy enough to die and write for - it should be worthy to read...

kids today take it further - where - that doesn't map anything for me.

Classes - A B C D - not sure where that is either - grade A , yoke, something, I don't know...but lost in that whole phrase...

stats and quotes - or stats and quotas status quo - are you attempting word play?

No need for "but" before your main dispute, you're disputing stick to it - "my main dispute" or even take out the main ... your dispute ... have it all... main and otherwise. stand tall in your opinion... take out extra ands and buts, they are the ums and uhs of speech written...

do they know the facts, checked if they are safe - hell no. woman, do you have to ask and more importantly do they care? your granda didn't - why would anyone else, it's addiction.

what is och?

we only live once, make it good - not to say I don't get it but the grammar is poor - make it good - you're referring to life - engage us - you only live once, you only go round the turnstile once, spin baby, or something - make it good - 'eh, it is medicore here.

humanoid? humanoid.

why do it? i care for you - aren't you disputing aren't you saying not to? then say not to - not why do it , I care for you, hell that'd make me wanna smoke something heavier, inhale, watch the shards of glass from my marlboro red protrude each long and x-ray like the sun don't shine.

[Gary H]

Very good points made here and I feel sorry for you that your 'ever-protesting' mouth is never heard. Well laid out with some good word play. Just a shame that all the people you love won't read or take notice of it. Thanks for the message.

[Bubo]

Love the ending of this!!
And the way you talked of your Grandpa was so touching.......

The last thing he spoke:
�I�m going home�
His eyes closed.
Lines from his favourite hymn.
Hymn,
Hymn,
Him gone.

very clever!!

[Kara Emily Krantz]

nice ending - and that is truly what you're trying to say.

"Hymn,
Hymn,
Him gone. "

loved those lines... great job with that play with words :)

hugs. i agree with your sentiments completely.

[Cdnsurfer]

You are a deeply caring and compassionate person, Gillzy, and no one can every doubt the truth of it. It's hard to see people make bad choices, thinking they're indestructible, because they aren't. What can you do? Be there and love them the best you can, for they may be lost to you even with the best precautions. Someone can be taken by a car accident or disease. Life is fleeting; more so as you get older and more frail. Just be you -- love and cherish them and be glad you had a chance to be with them at their best. Cheers, my friend. Rob