Death's Ally

I recently lost a family member to Cancer and this just sprung to my mind. It's my first poem so it probably sucks!

 Death's Ally

He hides while you live

Lurking deep within

Growing stronger and stronger

He eats you away

You grow weaker and weaker

To the doctors you go

His haunting name they say

Your eyes fill up

Your blood turns cold

Fix me, cure me, heal me you say

Little by little he dims

Stronger and stronger you grow

He’s gone they say

He laughs within you

Determined to take your life away

Craving devastation

A little piece of him got away

He attacks again and spreads

Further and further he goes

You suffer and suffer

Back to the doctors you go

He’s back they say

You accept

For he has your Brain and he has your bones

He destroys your body

Then takes your life

But never your soul

For death’s ally Cancer behold

Author's Note

Keep in mind this is my first poem so don't be too harsh but constructive criticism is welcome. I'm referring to Cancer as a 'He' as I thought it seemed more personal than 'it' and more deadly than 'she.' I don't mean to be sexist in any way!
Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[Zombie Waffle]

This is brilliant.
You really captured the melevolance here - creepy stuff.
Keep it up.
=)

[Ink Angel]

I think he is a perfect description, so many cases sadly these days,I do agree with Morrigan carginogens in food, atmosphere, electo magentics, stress, pressure coming at us from every angle. Sad. Very well writtern, keep up the writing. Thank you for sharing.

[Rose]

That is brilliant and it is very good for your first poem. I know how some people feel. Cancer can most of the time be a killer, but for the fortunate few people, they survive to tell the tale to this day. One of those fortunate people was a family member of mine, who ended up with breast cancer twice but luckily, the doctor's treated it and now, after a few years wait after the first time it happened, she has been offically cleared of cancer. Most people are lucky enough to survive through it but for some people, plainly, cancer is a killer.

This definitely does not "suck" at all! In fact, it is a rather beautiful expression of a very difficult experience. Through these words, I can feel the pain of those involved.

[Morrigan Nicole]

Written to perfection, sadly, thus is cancer for you. I've had a coupl of horses die from cancer and an uncle, it's a sad deal indeed. Once it has you within its clutch, you cannot exactly shake it off that easily. And we are a HUGE contributor, we actually create and promote carcinogens ( cancer causing agents).

[Elise Pehrson]

This was really good; especially for your first poem! It had such great emotion behind it and wonderful word usage, metaphors, and flow. Great job!