your path

without a map...because heart is compass...

I'm on the path you told me to,
I'm enjoying the company and the view,
I'm walking because I'm afraid,
afraid of left behind,
staying far and far far away,
I'm keep walking,
without even care of night or day,
pure or dusty, simple or musty,
I'm giving up my friend,
I'm gonna walk,
just want to see how it end?

Author's Note

thanks for reading.

Reviews

[Ees]

The opening line doesn't quite make sense to me... Like you are on the path you were told to what? follow? be on? you kind of left it hanging there....
"afraid of left behind" - of what left behind? of being left behind? of what is left behind?
last line- same thing, feels like you are missing words.

All that said I like the poem. I like the concept. I just liked it better when I added my own words to make it feel like the lines were complete. I don't know if you dropped things intentionally or not, but I think that the dropping of things actually hinders rather then assists the feelings and the poem that you were trying to create.

as always, you do not have to take my advice, these are just my thoughts as I read and they are things that you might want to think about in any re-writes that you might pursue.

[Laminators Dubai]

Ummmmm.....
you gotta be me to understand.........lol^^

I will explain later that.....don't worry...

glad you liked it anyhow....its nice....

thanks !^^

[ron]

This is a sad poem glitch.

[Laminators Dubai]

yeah but not too much.
at least I'm trying!.....lol
thanks anyway...

[ron]

You are most welcome glitch