The End

Started 12-14-12 Finished 12-18-12 I think it is decent. I feel like there needs to be more meat tho.

I welcome death with a warm embrace

Hugging like friends after a long part

To my grave it lays me down

Tucking me in, as we snuggle underground

 

The end of one journey

The beginning of another

No more sorrow

No more pain

I count it all as gain

 

To end the madness

Part with the turmoil

Say goodbye to the chaos

Let go of the dross

 

This final embrace

The end of the race

Reviews

[K-mo]

powerful words here. You describe death in a way that makes it seem somewhat happy, well done my friend!

[Jeremia]

Thanks, I'm confident it will be happy.

[rnuff]

wow your last 4 lines say it all, powerful write,
I really enjoyed this write. I can feel the emotions.

[Jeremia]

Sweet. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm glad I was able to bring out emotions. That is the desire of my writing, to bring out exactly what you just said. So thank you. Seems I may have accomplished what I was trying to do, apart from letting out my emotions that is.

[Kesha]

Btw thanks for all the reviews! Sadly I cant post my new pieces using my phone. I loved this piece! It made death sound peaceful and almost wanted. Although I feel like theres alot that was unsaid? Like it couldve been continued somehow? Idk but i like it!

[Jeremia]

Haha, very perceptive. I didn't want to end it, but I didn't know how to continue. I didn't know how to put into words what I was thinking/feeling. Happens to me a lot.
And you are indeed welcome. I'm sorry that my reviews aren't always very helpful, I'm not very good at giving advice cause I really don't know all that much about writing.

[Kesha]

Ohhh ok!(: and lol thats alright!

[RavenWells]

I really liked this piece, it made death sound less horrible, and more like going to sleep. The only suggestion I have is that the word drags in the first stanza seems a little out of place. The stanza is filled with naming death as an old friend, and in the middle of it there is the word drags which has such a negative connotation. Besides that this was a beautiful piece. Nice job! :)

[Jeremia]

Nice, I didn't even catch that. Thank you. I changed it and added some. What do you think?

[RavenWells]

I like the changes you've made! They sewed the piece together beautifully. :)

[Jeremia]

Haha thank you. :)

[RavenWells]

Oh, one last thing that I noticed, should snuggling be snuggle? Gosh I feel like such a harsh reviewer.

[Jeremia]

Rofl, yes it should. I feel like an idiot I didn't catch that either. You are not harsh, what you say is valued. Thanks.