Only You

11-25-10 Experiment (12-17-10) I messed around with this poem to try and play with the feel. Tell me what you think.

FATHER!!!

Only you can deliver me!

Deliver me from these walls that I have built around me

Deliver me from this independent destructive path

Deliver me from this self inflicted vicious cycle

 

FATHER!!!

Draw me back to you!

Draw me back to you and never let me go

Draw me into your love and fill me to overflow

                        wash me clean again oh Father.

Make me new!

 

Father!!

You are the one and only

The beginning and the end

You are the one who is worthy

You are perfect in every way

 

Father!

Never let me forget your wonders

Let your words never depart from me

May you be ever inscribed on my heart

 

Father

Only you can complete this empty person

Only you can give a purpose for my life.

You are the reason for everything that I am.

 

Father, Only You

Reviews

[David Benson]

Interesting, Jeremia - a poem that could easily be memorized and recited in church. Were it me, I would think about rewriting this so that it could include a refrain and be converted to a song of praise. It has the rhythm. One thing about the exclamation points and ALL CAPS, is that it makes it seem as though you're shouting - quite possibly in anger. Again, were it me, I would tone that down.