Poor Granny

True story from my childhood involving myself, my younger niece and my unsuspecting grandmother.

So, there we were, hunched up close and whispering. My niece and I hiding in my grandmothers hallway closet, planning our mischevious attack against the blessed old woman as she sat entranced, watching her novellas on the only spanish station broadcasting in the States during the early 80's, Univision. "Be quiet" I whispered for the umpteenth time. "When we go out there make sure you're totally quiet okay?" My niece, all of 3 years old nodded in agreement, so i kneeled down a bit and she jumped on my back just as I instructed her to do. I slowly turned the closet door knob, being extra careful to not make a sound that might attract the attention of my grandmother and thus foil our "plan". Slowly i crept onto the cold tiles, filled with excitement and stifling my laughter as best I could. I was the ultimate 8 year old predator! The game was afoot and we were all about it!

 

 I slid through the hallway and into the narrow kitchen and slooowly, very slowly, opened the cabinets and very carefully began to lay out all of the plates and glasses on top of the counter and atop the stove and inside the sink. It took all of 5 minutes before we had virtually every piece of cookware and dinnerware laid out in a somewhat ordered but still chaotic fashion all over the place. Now, it was time for the coup de grace. I opened the silverware drawer and grabbed a fork. Lovely it was..all shiney, polished and so tense. As tense as my mind and as sharp as my wit. Like a bunny that hops but whos feet never leave the earth we approached my poor granny from behind. I peered down at her bottom, which was fully dressed yet fully exposed via the opening back of the chair.It beckoned to me, smiling cheekily, as if to say "Go ahead, stab me, make my day".

 

 I could resist the impulse to stab no longer! So I did! The fork poked her butt cheek hard enough to emit a shout from her throat and a rapid rise from her legs. "Cono"! she screamed, obviously annoyed and a little frightened...and that was our cue to turn and run like hell, well, Me to run like hell and Barbra to hold on for dear life. That I did and directly back to the closet where we waited for what seemed an eternity ( but was more like 5 seconds) then came the battle cry of the defeated: "Nina, que hicistes carajo"!  IOW: "Girl, what did you do!" To which our response was giggling and hugging eachother in the closet and reveling in our victory. Ah, yes that sweet sweet feeling. We had been victorious, if only for a moment. Poor Granny...how we loved you so.

 

 

Author's Note

Note: Granny, who's real name was Isabel, was our beloved matriarch and we never actually mistreated her. She was adored and cared for by all. Granny was a very loving woman who had raised several children and even grandchildren...thats probably why she put everything back in it's place and didn't even bother going to look for us as she knew.."Thats what kids do". xo

Reviews

[Alistair (Ali)]

Nice one!!..and had me smiling too!..Grandparents, eh?..brilliant!..mine were always old, never got any older either, just seemed always to have been "that age"
I always remember my Grandad used to fall asleep after meals, and us kids used to wait for him to start snoring, then would gather up various items of stationery and would try to insert these into his nostrils and ears...( not sure what was going on there at all).. he would of course start to flap wildly in his sleep...( the key was not to wake him)..and much stifled hilarity would ensue.

and as you rightly said " that is what kids do"

[Katrina Mckeown]

your gran sounded adorable, nice tribute to a lovely loving gran. I was scared of mine lol

[Craig2591]

A delightful story! For me, I needed no explanation at the end. I could tell by the way you wrote the story that your grandmother was loving and loved.

The only error I saw was, "bunny that hops but whos feet" - 'whos' should be 'whose'.

[....]

amazing tribute here ~ enjoyed the read

[no sun]

What a wonderful tribute story and touching write! Not to mention this is well written!