Hollywood Rides The Short Bus/Gonzo Alive And Well

Another night of television hell I was in the middle of a hell of a block.
And withoout the funds my usal cure of hookers and cocaine wasnt a open
road so to speak.

I was lost I wondred the streets like hooker in need of a john.
When through the darkness it appearded a well lit haven in the middle of
a thoughtless storm.

The cinema cafe drinks and films hmm from looking at the marquee seems
there wasnt much to choose from .
It read like a preschooler had puked apon the board.

There were sequels, and prequels, gay vampires that walked around in the day,
Weirdos who flew around on broom sticks and loads of treenage s**t minus the porn.
Dear lord! I had to get to the bottom of this problem.

The pimple faced kid at the booth asked me in a squeeky yet firm semi manly
voice can I help you sir?
Yes my dear crater face whats with this s**t you call films here ?
Umm I dont make em sir there just whats popular.

The greezy faced hampster had a good point in what he said that is.
cause other than that I had no clue what he was working with really what do you think
I am some kinda pervert?

Let me ask you something do you like this s**t you sell tickets to?
F**k no dude its garbage for halfwits and retards and some people from Canada.
Who the hell wants to see that c**t from twilight play snow white?
Let me ask is that a adult film?
Duh no dumbass we dont show thoose here.

Would you know were I could see thoose films?
Im doing some umm research on human sexulality it involves alotta big words
which i cant spell so i'll spare you the details just point me in the right direction
and nobody gets hurt.

Dude they havent shown thoose kinda movies in theaters for years.
Oh yeah and theres this thing called the internet once is way better than writting on your
cave walls.
Kids there really great smartasses.

After some back in fourth who gives a f**k or really reads this shite banter.
The man with the pizza face finally hit his limit.
Look a*****e!
I dont make the s**t ,I dont watch the s**t!
If you gotta problem take it up with the studio exects in Hollywood.

You gotta point there sparky give me your keys!
What! No.
Give me your keys or else.
Or else what grandpa your gonna hit me with your walker.

No you silly b*****d.
Or else I'll shoot you.
Ya see young man that should wear a iron mask.
You may have a I Phone
But I have a handgun and that always wins the debate no hand em over.

After a brief moment of the little smartass shite crying and begging for me not to kill him.
Really he watched to many TV shows I wasnt gonna kill him besides.
Im allergic to prison and it wasnt even a real gun what a dumbass.

I was off in my borrowed car to the land of bad ideas and great b**b jobs.
A place more fake than barbies dream home minus that dickless tool she always
hung out with not that I played with Barbie's but she does have some really kickarse boobies
and im a big fan of boobies hell what great writer isnt?

It was a drive that seemed to take forever but finally i pulled up to the front gate
of Warner Brothers studios.
The little weird looking gate keeper looked at me and said .
can I help you sir.

Yes please direct me to your leader strange gaurd troll.
Uhh sir this is a closed lot only people with passes can enter.
Well what if i know the secret word?

Who told you about the secret word?
I had him with that one.
These Hollyweird vampires couldnt have enough brain power to
keep some pass on them.
Okay whats the secret word sir?

I had to think deep and from such a shallow mind that was asking alot.
What could it be it had to be something that rang true like snorting a line of
coke of Katy Perry's tit's.

Dear lord I had it.

Brad Pitt sucks donkey balls.

The man looked at me in utter shock I wasnt sure if he was gonna let me pass
or try to pull me out my slightly worn odd smelling borrowed car.
Alright sir it's lot 69 hahaha yeah I know im demented.

Right next to the lot there filming Winds Of Change Fart The Musical!
Staring Johnny Depp and Bogo the horny chimp.
D****t i wish i wasnt busy that chimp seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders.
Well when he wasnt jerking off and eating bannans while throwing his poo.
What a talent indeed.

I found myself in the studio people running every which a way.
It was total confussion seemd like no one had a clue what the hell they were doing.
Hey a*****e shouted some weird little man in a chair who the f**k are you!?.

The little red haired man must truely be dellusional.
How could someone not know Gonzo?
Well sir just who the f**k are you? I replied.

Well im Ron motherfucking Howard b***h!
Hmm never herd of you are you a director or something?
What!!!
Ever hear of Andy Griffith or Happy Days?
Oh yeah your that little dork that hung out with that cop yeah what a snitch.
I was playing his son dumbass.

Dam well seems this ginger finally explained to me why that man always had him around
it all makes sense now i just thought he was some kinda pervert.
Course seems like he had picked up some bad habbits from that Fonzie guy
never trust a man who calls the restroom his office but what a man does with
another man in a dirty restroom for plesure or profit is his own bussiness.

Look jerkoff what the hell do ya want?
Lets start with a gallon's of nothern light maybe some top shelf hookers some good music.
Maybe a couple hits of some lets say nose candy maybe turn off the lights and see what happens.
Im just saying sometimes ya gotta let nature take it's drug filled course.

Im not talking bout from life dip s**t i mean what the hell are you doing here?
Oh s**t sorry there carrot top.
I wanna see the person in charge that green lights all this remake s**t you souless
morons put out and call entertainment.

The little red haired devil was silent as he explained to me no one ever saw the
studio head it was like meeting Santa Claus or Hitler or being in the pressence of a unicorn
really whats the diffrence.

He warned me of the dangers of meeting such a great mind yet like I do with
most people I simply shook me head and agreed much like i do with
women im trying to sleep with duh like I care about her tweenty seven cats.

Finally after learning I wasnt taking no for a answer he lead me to a room
And in this room was a screen and apon the screen appread a face.
Who dare question the mighty head of the film studio!!

The voice was loud still it had that comfoting quallity that you just have to love in
a windbag arsehole.
Umm me.

You well who the hell are you?
Duh dumbass im the long winded arsehole writting the story.
Oh well what the f**k do you want?

Sir I wanna know what the hell's wrong with you people.
Look im a drunk but i could never be drunk enough to pay a fortune to watch half the s**t you call entertainment between remakes and films based on gay a*s stories about vampires
and dudes who run around the woods calling themselves werewolves.

You mean you actully saw twilight?
The voice asked me on the verge of laughter.
Duh i see a bunch of hot chicks going anywhere im following without asking
much like the mindless drones that watch that s**t.

Sir your a sad sad man.
The strange face on the screen vanished out from the curtan appeared
what looked like OMG it was Bugs Bunny !!

Bug's!
What's up gonz?
D****t i always knew you were real much like Fergie and spanish fly.

Gonzo i know half this s**t sucks but its because mindless idiots love studip s**t.
Look you were once a popular writer and you cant even spell.
Ouch now go ahead mighty furry samuri.

Ya see whatever makes money we put out and really stupid young girls much like your teenage
wife love that s**t and being perverts like yourself wanna get laid you'll take them to that s**t.
Bugs are you saying it's all about money?

No s**t dumbass.

We talked drank watched backroom casting couch tapes of early starlets like
Harrison Ford no wonder he was so good with that whip.

It was magic minus the money loving nazi mouse that'll sue your a*s.
Bugs I gotta ask you a deep question?
Shoot there Gonz .
Is Mickey really just a cross dresser calling himself Minnie?

You are messed up in so many ways Gonz.
We laughed swapped dirty stories like the time Bugs slipped
Daisy some extasy and got a blowjob in the magic castle while goofy watched.

What the f**k is Goofy?

Gonz .
My furry amigo said to f**k if I know.

Untill next time kids stay crazy

And remember if you wish apon a star ya better make sure to whom thoose copy rights
belong to truley are.
Cause thoose rich fuckers will sue your a*s .

Cheers.

 

   Fin?