Nothing

an empty void
a void that was once full of life and laughter
a place of home that perished into nothingness
no smiles anymore
no birds annoying you, when you are trying to sleep, when you just came home at 8 in the morning, nose stuffed with so much cocaine, you may had could snore the whole f*****g neighborhood awake.
spending your miserable hours of the night
with friends, unique music, liquor and drugs
and sure
 it was fun
but at the end of the party
you sit there thinking to yourself
let this all end.
is this what I truly want?
hey my friend..
for my next birthday..
please.
get me a shotgun.
that death decision
will save me from more pain and love
than I can bare myself to go through
though my heart
is to small for this
to demand that it has been enough
so i keep moving through the quicksand
and keep reminding myself
to me
my only friend
that this is the end