Lotus

I suddenly got inspired. This is random. Weird. Short, too. I like to keep thing simple.

The lotus began to wilt,

Silently.

I remembered my promise to my friends,

As I lay dying unwillingly.

A petal,

Fell,

Rippling the pond water,

As dark as hell.

Death?

That's nothing. 

Not keeping my promises?

That's something.

The petal,

Browning,

The ripples,

Expanding.

My life spreads out infront me,

I smile eerily,

Raise my sword to a salute,

As the last petal dropped quietly.

Author's Note

What do you think of this poem? Do you like this? Are there any problems in the poem? Is it too short/too long? What can I do to improve? Et cetera.

Reviews

[Poeticpiers]

I was intrigued by the concept that death is less important than broken promises very original
Tp address your question Yo present your thoughts in well written poetic prose
Length is about right but you pay no attention to meter the one essential ingredient of poetry