I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, J. I wish I could tell you how I really see you, how much I really care about you. I'm sorry that I ever thought that you could be how I fantasized you.

I thought about finding out where you live once.

Well, alot more than just once.

 

I was going to write down your licence plate and see where you had registered it.

I wanted to know where you slept at night and danced in the day.

I would have gotten up at 5am to see what time you got to school, so I could tuck flowers and chocolate under the window wipers.

I wrote your name anywhere and everywhere I could, so people would know that someone loves you more than enything in the world.

I debated "accidently" leaving my phone in your room to record you, so I could listen to your voice at night.

I was going to take photos of you whenever i saw you, so that I could see your face whenever I wanted.

 

I know how bad it sounds, but I'm just so desperate to hear you and see you and feel you. I love you. More than anything in the world.

 

I'm sorry that I ever had those thoughts about you. I know as much as I want to, we can never be togther. In anyway. I can't give you my blood to pump through your veins, even though I would if you asked.

 

I'm sorry.