Twenty Four

Twenty Four

A Poem by Gypsie

To hold you for an hour, is my poison indeed.

To kiss your lips, a venom that I clearly need.

Whispers soft and wonderful, licking at my ear.

Your hands against my body, a burden I must bear.


Twenty four hours, just to show you my heart.

Twenty four hours, I know we must part.


To touch you in a way, I know that you desire.

To feel your flesh against me, makes internal fire.

Nothing between us, madness takes hold.

Forgiveness, I beg for being so bold.


Twenty four hours, just to show you my heart.

Twenty four hours, I know we must part.


© 2012 Gypsie


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Featured Review

The time limit of "Twenty four hours"is very interesting.
It is less than twelve hours and includes the day beyond the night.
It seems a special time limit that is meant only for you.
Love the rhymed piece that evokes many many thoughts.

Thanks for sharing the splendid work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gypsie

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your review. I am happy that you enjoyed it.
zainul

8 Years Ago

It was really a great pleasure of mine.



Reviews

Arrgh... what we women go through searching for love. Nicely written Gypsie

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The time limit of "Twenty four hours"is very interesting.
It is less than twelve hours and includes the day beyond the night.
It seems a special time limit that is meant only for you.
Love the rhymed piece that evokes many many thoughts.

Thanks for sharing the splendid work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gypsie

8 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your review. I am happy that you enjoyed it.
zainul

8 Years Ago

It was really a great pleasure of mine.
I enjoyed the rhyme and story told. In the last line of your first verse perhaps you could have written:
"Your hands against my body, a burden I don’t fear."
Or perhaps:
"Your hands against my body tug at my brassiere."

Posted 8 Years Ago


A troubling piece to me... maybe the attention is wanted, maybe it isn't... maybe it is just a way of surviving , of accepting a punishment or just a duty to be faced. It's all in the word choice...

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really like the flow and your poetry is simply spectacular!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is an elegant and honest piece that speaks of how it feels to be burdened by desire. The contrasts in the first stanza set the tone well: poison, kiss, venom, whispers, burden. Tough emotion; strong & original poetry.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gypsie

8 Years Ago

Thank you, I am happy you enjoyed it.
A touching piece that speaks to your readers, well done, good read.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very intriguing, passionate, and an emotionally charged poem. Words just can't say enough for the portrait your painting here. Great write. An interesting read. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


I know you must part just to show your heart.... Well penned.

Posted 9 Years Ago


This is a very interesting and emotional poem. It has great imagery and flows well too. Beautifully written, and kudos to you.

100/100

Posted 9 Years Ago



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12 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on July 9, 2012
Last Updated on July 10, 2012

Author

Gypsie
Gypsie

Spokane, WA



About
Looking for something with substance; something that fills the senses, drawing you in, wrapping you within its web ever so gently, unknowingly. Then by the time you realize it, you have been entangled.. more..

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