One Hell of a Southern Man

Poem about real life for some people...

I’m a freeborn born rocker roller,

a proud Saint Andrews flag waver,

I’m a damn good poacher,

sometimes a loafer,

and anything anybody has to say I don’t care,

I’m a wheeler,

I’m a dealer,

I’m a born-free heritage Southern man.

Got alligator skin cowboy boots,

a Ford F-10 pickup truck,

a Tommy machine gun that shoots,

I’m never down on my luck,

have a cast iron toy train that toots,

and a real plane that flies

and lands;

‘cause boys,

I’m one hell of a Southern man!

I can can throw a mean punch,

have the best booze to sell,

I can steal the lion’s lunch,

I can ring a w***e’s bell!

I’m a world wide ocean cruiser,

not some brown eyed crying loser,

I’m a hell of a Southern man!

I can drink a truck load of beer,

slay an elk head deer,

designed my own hundred acre farm and mansion house,

‘cause I ain’t no grungy slouch!

I’m a real live world-wide ocean cruiser,

not some Zeus-damned scumbag loser,

I’m a hell of a Southern man!

I built a whole empire on running South American dope,

Son,

listen to what I say ‘cause I ain’t no joke!

I have native servants by the dozen,

and many centerfold vixens givin’ plenty of lovin’!

I take in gold by the pound

with all of this business I’ve found.

I’m a world wide ocean cruiser,

not some dirty damned loser,

I’m a thriller,

I’m a killer,

I’m one hell of a Southern man!

Stop me if you can.

If you don’t like this poem

then I don’t give a damn!

Look at the finger on my right hand,

I’m chief in my band;

watch out for my lightning gun,

cause I’m having loads of fun!

Can't wait to give it all a whirl,

cause my crisscross business nation ‘ll one day

take over the whole world!

I’m a seven seas ocean cruiser,

not some filthy scumbag communist loser,

I’m a thriller,

I’m a real killer,

I’m one hell of a Southern man!

Author's Note

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