Tip Toe

Tip Toe

Tip Toe 

in the back door,

yes slip right in,

smelling your own fear,

you think of this sin.

Tip Toe

Tip Toe

running your hand,

up and down the wall,

the switch you hit,

now try to stall.

Tip Toe

Tip Toe

message sent, 

others come in,

we will rob again.

Tip Toe

Tip Toe

hold the gun,

into the face 

of the clerk.

see the fear. 

hear of the family,

and still pull

the trigger.

was this worth

the $12.50 

you left with

sirens, chaos

Tip Toe

Ti...

BANG DEAD

Reviews

[TammyJo]

I really like this poem it is really good ... Thanks for sharing this poem

[Holly Mason]

well thank you for reading

[Akshita]

I love how every line of yours is so descriptive that it feels like it's all happening before my eyes...and I really liked the ending...amazing poem :-)

[Holly Mason]

thank you so very much

[Trigorin]

Absolutely, absolutely fantastic. Your use of repetition and whimsical, almost childish rhythm draws the reader in and makes it impossible to stop reading. The ending is brilliant as well, a subtle little dark knife amid the rather happy remainder of the poem. One thing I think you did well was to only capitalize the words 'Tip Toe' and of course 'BANG DEAD' at the very end. This lends the other lines of the poem a sort of fleeting quality and emphasizes the constant action implied to be going on - the tip-toeing. Overall, this is very, very good. You should be proud.

[Holly Mason]

thank you very much
mean that for taking the time to give a review appreciated