HYPNOTIZED

bullying was killing me

hypnotized I questioned my own eyes

struck my faith, right in the heart

left me openly bleeding, my words apart

am I only obsessed with their happiness

put down the pen, never write again

I cannot be bullied or so I thought

my battling war, I alone fought

I am only read by men that lust

I am worthless, I kept it to myself

I leave ,I watch ,I see the hateful cries

hypnotized by their never ending lies

my heart would pound just tapping a key

forgetting myself ,the strength inside of me

I give only kindness, it is supposed to kill

leaving me empty with only hate to fill

not lashing out was a heavy burdening task

wanting to reach out and rake off their mask

no reason for this, just a pouring of soul

bullying me, has taken it's toll

I am a writer, a gifted pen friend

but hateful remarks left me open again

hypnotized I questioned my own eyes

maybe they are right ,it hurt so bad

keeping it to myself ,driving me raving mad

my thoughts on these matters only matter to me

but I grabbed their swaying pocket watch 

I laid it on the ground STAMPED it dead in pieces

I will never fully recover all of me 

hypnotized by hateful eyes

Author's Note

dedicated to Noodleheads new group...look at me and what bullying has done
I do not suffer from writers block I suffer from writers stalk....
the mail I received I could handle but when they changed their photos to mock me
I gave up....because hate takes words away...jealous souls are already dead*)
this was not easy for me to admit...just sayin'

Reviews

[carol burgess romance]

I believe when someone bullies they feel threatened by the person they bully. So I take from this that you must be one hell of a great writer to bring out such insicurites in these people. I will never understand such things and hope from now on your experience here is positive. A very good write you have here and it packs quite a wallop.

[Holly Mason]

this was not easy for me- I am strong minded , business owner, soccer mom, so to admit I am being bullied not easy for me...I still feel just silly but hey it all was more then I thought
thank you for reading truly

[carol burgess romance]

You are welcome and I really mean it when I say hope it gets better

[Holly Mason]

I truly thank you for that
and p.s. I love the word wallop...had forgotten about it *)*)

[carol burgess romance]

hugs

[A. H. Pinley]

A powerful write Holly. I'm sorry that this has been your experience. Keep writing. God bless!

[Holly Mason]

Hoping you had a lovely Memorial Day
thank you fine sir

[A. H. Pinley]

Busy, but it was nice. Thank you!

[Rita L. Sev]

Holly, I am touched and angered by this write. You are a talented writer, and a kind person. I haven't been the victim of bullying for years, but I will never fully shake the feeling. The best thing to do, and the bravest, is just what you have done - keep writing. Thank you for sharing this.

[Holly Mason]

thank you for reading teach
sounds so silly but this was really hard for me to admit

[therisa]

Sigh.

Why do some people
Need to belittle others
In order
To install proud
Into themselves.

For words
Can kill people.

Having walked
The edge
Which the bully's actions
Placed me
Upon.

To all victims
I stand unite
In the fight
Against bullies.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i already got kicked off of one site because of this kind of thing...there were hurtful rewiewers, scathing reviews of young poets...and older fledgling poets...i was liked at this other site, but then once i stuck up for these people i was considered a worthless commentor...and reviewer...i was looked at as not harsh enough..

there is no room in poetry for this kind of thing...bullying and meanness.

jacob

[Holly Mason]

thank you for sharing your story...truly
no room is exactly right ...I think for me it has all been a learning experience I really had not socialized via the internet and I have to say I have been more then shocked by somethings
thank you fine sir

[redflutterby]

I've missed you on here and wondered why I hadn't seen any new poetry from you. It makes me sad to think of you dealing with this alone...wish you would have reached out. The problem on here is that people do this stuff while proclaiming how they love this site and they are just victims of everyone else. There's no way to prove otherwise and most on here don't pay enough attention to the interactions of members to see who's really at fault. And yes in most cases there is one person who instigates then the other party's who get involved to defend are seen as trouble makers. Its a no when situation. I took a stand for Noodle twice on here and I will continue to do so. She is a teenage girl and her experience here should be free of bullying by anyone.

[Holly Mason]

didn't realize that miss noodle had problems lately...truly sorry to hear that
as far as proof it is all int he pudding...I started a fight to protect that had already begun and I am still glad I did it...many times I could have stated things but just didn't want the fight to continue no one should have to endure hate at any age...this was not easy for me to share truly was not I am a strong woman but I also see a positive side I will now understand better when and if my daughters or the other 20 kids that are always here go through this- now I know it can do more then hurt it scars....crazy things this world offers but now after I picked my fight-folks recognize a person who speaks a different language people recognize a young writer people recognize someone who is handicap I am ill I go through different things medically I do not always make sense or feel well for that matter but I still love the life that I have been given parentless and all *)*)*)
thank you so fine lady truly

[Ken Simm.]

Bullies are hateful. hidden bullies even more. And whilst I don't pretend to know all of what happened to you and others I will still stand in line with all those who say I will not be bullied. And that includes you. Those who say my art is important to me and to others. You are not.

[Holly Mason]

thank you fine sir...I am a strong minded business owning soccer mom -I never would of thought it would of affected me but I guess they dug until they found the easiest points of entry...but as I told eclipsing moon it is a wonderful learning lesson for today's moms so we understand our children better when it comes to these on-line bullying events
thank you again...

[Larry Dyson]

jealous souls...people write negative things to purge themselves...so many times at others expense...I read you with neither lust for flesh or spirit to own...but as a fellow traveler on this walking jouney to the end of existence....keep writing.. it is good for Me...another view point to the END...honestly..Laury

[Holly Mason]

thank you very much truly...but as a mother it was all a good learning lesson when my daughters tell me something at least I understand ...thank you again

[Frieda P]

I'm stunned by reading this and shocked, I don't know what to say. I thought that was history, but as you know I've been affected by this abomination also. People that profess to be one way and indeed hide behind different facades, but in the meantime have people persuaded to take up their sword. I came to realize that none of them matter, I lost a very dear friend to a tragedy, and my son came home from rehab, all this is crap is a lot of unwarranted noise that gets in the way of creativity and the kinship we have as writers. They hardly matter and we all have bigger, and more important demons to battle, they can kiss my fine a*s....thanks for sharing Holly.

[Holly Mason]

well at least I learned a lot...and I picked my fight yes i did but would still to this day not trash the folks but hey what is a girl to do...try and try again
thank you fine lady

[Jack...]

Holly, my friend, I for one miss you and am saddened by this pain you had to and still, it seems, do endure. Perhaps I should have stayed out of the fray or the several different word wars that raged on this site, but I can not sit back and watch another be bullied, especially one I call friend. I hope you return and return smiling, for your friends here greatly out numbered the small minded, cowardly enemies that have hidden behind cartoon pictures and fictional names. Your poem today does allow us a look into your heart and your soul, thank you so much for baring both. I for one will stand in your defense should anything come of it.

[Holly Mason]

thank you for reading...this really is hard for me to admit but now I have joined a face to face writing group it is interesting and nice to be face to face with folks but my hand is killing me from using a pen...truth it is actually swollen dang keyboards *)
thank you again fine sir