My Muse

The dreams I had of your smile 

Your laugh that I would never be able to hear

The memories and hopes I had for your future

Little did I know that all the while

The heartbeat I would never be able to listen to 

The life I would never be able to hold 

The breath I would never be able to hear you take 

Would leave such an everlasting impression of you 

If I would have paid more attention

I might could have saved you 

If only I had done a little more

If only there was a prevention

You might have been able to take your first step 

You might have been able to say your first word

You might have been able to feel the love of family around you

We might have actually met

They say my next will be a rainbow

They say I will never forget

They say there was nothing I could do

I say I will never even know

I will always love you

I will always remember 

You will always be my rainbow

You will always be my muse

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This reads very well with strong and powerful imagery, and rather juicy lines here and there. A couple of critiques if I may be so bold: "I might could have saved you"? The "might" and "could" are redundant....maybe "I might have been able to save you" would work better (it also echoes the "might have been able" lines that follow in the next stanza). Next, Line 3 or the following stanza (about feeling the love of family) is a little too wordy for the musicality (and the musicality by the way is awesome otherwise). Third and lastly, simply saying "they say my next will be a rainbow" feels incomplete, for apart from the title which isn't taken all too into account until the end, you don't particularly say what the addressee is until the last stanza. It would be good to say something as to what he/she/it is so we understand what you're referring to (like "love" or "charm" or even "spur"...whatever you feel encapsulates "muse" without saying "muse", for I clearly see how you wanted to save that word for the end). Well done!

[Relic]

I might could have saved you ?

There's nothing worse for a mother. To carry a child for all those months with dreams of the future, only to have that child snatched away before it even started life is more than disappointing. The scar stays forever.

So sorry, truly I am to you or any mother that ha experienced it.

[AnonymouslyPerfect]

Thank you so much for this beautiful comment. It makes me happy that this touched someone.