The Birthday

Can you ever stop loving someone completely? Do feelings change? A small episode about two star crossed lovers who meet after they've broken up.

Never had I been so nervous before (obviously, not counting the first time we met). It felt different, although it always felt different, this feeling was nothing compared to what I used to feel when we were together. I was anxious, excited and nervous. I was waiting for tomorrow, something that I’d not done for almost a year.

2 days ago

“You are not supposed to do this.” Aditya said.

“I know.” I replied, because I knew he was right. But I also knew, I might end up doing it.

After two hours of listening to his advice about life and how it’s perfect and how we’re supposed to let go. I decided to head back home, tired from his lecture and also fearing that it might rain heavily soon.

While I was driving back, his words kept hitting my head hard. “It’s all about letting go. Letting go, is always the lesson.” He said and I knew in a way he was right.

It was almost a year since I decided to let go and in this act of letting go, I realized, you can never truly let go someone, not completely. I was still hung on, to a certain things, like her memories, like her laughter, her messy hair and her.

It was around 11 pm when I reached home. I was tired and sleepy. I entered my room and saw the bed well made, I wished I could just fall and sleep for the next couple of years, maybe a couple more.

I was home, but somewhere deep inside, I was still talking to Aditya, trying to convince him that I can do it. Probably trying to ask his permission. But then I realized, I didn’t have to seek his approval. I couldn’t understand why I was trying to convince him inside my head. Maybe, I was trying to convince myself, in a hope of convincing him. Yes, I was in a mess, like I’ve always been.

Half an hour later, I was lying on my bed, trying to sleep. It was pouring outside. The noise of rain was too disturbing. And although we both hated rain, it always reminded me of her. I don’t know why. Clear sky reminded me of her too. She was there in everything that was beautiful and everything that was not.

“No, don’t even think about it.” my head said.

“You can’t do it.” said my head again.

“You’re tired man.” I felt my legs scream.

But just then my heart whispered, “Just try.” as soft as it could. And although, I have a very bad heart, I couldn’t resist listening to it.

I swiftly picked up my phone and dialed her number.

Five anxious rings later, she picked up. 

“Ahmed?” she whispered.

“Is it you?” she whispered again.

“Ahmed?” she kept repeating.

I couldn’t speak. Damn, her voice was so beautiful. It was that moment, I realized how much I missed her.

“Yeah, it’s me.” I said after a couple of ragged and breathless breaths.

“I’m good. How are you?” I said and then asked.

“Yes, I’m good too! I wasn’t expecting you to call.” She said.

“I know. I didn’t expect myself to call you either.” I confessed.

She laughed a little, almost trying to control herself from letting lose and free, like she always did.

“So what’s up?” She asked, trying to sound relaxed and happy.

“Yes, Yes!! Actually, Happy Birthday!” I said nervously.

“Errr…I think you forgot! My birthday is a couple of days later?” she said, confused.

“Yeah, I know. I mean…I called to ask you about it.” I said, sounding completely stupid and senseless. She always made me sound like that.

“What?”

“Ok wait.” I said.

“Actually, I was thinking that, it’s your birthday in two days and if it would be 

possible for us to meet?” I blurted, finally and it felt good.

“Only if you are ok.” I quickly added, fully aware of how things were between us and what we were and what we were not.

“Yes, Yes! I can.” She said without any hesitation whatsoever. I let out a huge sigh of relief, my whole body seemed to relax and in that very instant I felt good. This is what I missed for so many months.

PRESENT

The previous night, I had set my alarm at 6 am. Well, usually I set it at 7 am, but special occasion required special timing. Funnily enough, I got up way before the alarm could go into frenzy. I was up by 5 am. Excitement was buzzing through my nerves but at the same time I was a little apprehensive about how the day would turn out.

For the first time in a long time, I got off my bed, smiling and looking forward to the day. I felt good, I wore a dark navy blue shirt and my favorite light blue denim. There was spring in my step and smile on my face. I got ready by 7 am even though I had to pick her up only by 9. I knew the wait was going to be long and painful. I made myself comfortable on the couch right in front of the wall clock and stared at it, almost like how my father stares at me when I do something wrong. And the only wrong, that the time was doing now, was moving too slow.

Two painful hours later, I was standing at Nungambakkam railway station, I got there fifteen minutes early, like I was did whenever we met. Sitting on my bike, searching for her face among the hundreds who were hustling in and out of the station.

Few minutes later, while carelessly looking at people in a dim hope to find her, I saw her. I saw her innocently making her way through the jam-packed road. She looked so still, even while hurrying through the crowd. I thought I’d call her to let her know that I saw her, but I didn’t. I wanted to see her in secret, without her knowing that I was there.

She eventually saw me as she came closer. She let out a smile and I smiled back at her. There was so much to say to her after a long time, but I just couldn’t. Words seemed futile and smile was all I could offer from my side.

“So, here I am!” she said still smiling, still beautiful.

“And here we are, a year later.” I said still not believing that she was there, right in front of me.

She pursed her lips and quietly sighed, whispering “Yes.”

“So, what’s the plan?” she quickly retorted with her smile again.

“Oh yes, madam, umm…with your permission, I would like to take you to a 3D art museum.” I said.

“You always have my permission.” She said with a smile and seconds later hopped on my bike.

Half an hour later, we were on a traffic free road. I was driving fast and she was holding me tight. We were talking random stupid stuffs and we were laughing. Life seemed good and may be this is what freedom meant, doing things we loved.

We reached the museum by 10:30 am. Though it wasn’t a weekend, the place was fairly crowded.

“Hey?” I said as soon as we entered the gallery.

She lifted her face and raised her eye brows with a smile. “Happy birthday.” I whispered.

She held my hands tight and we walked in. Although she wasn’t a great fan of paintings and arts, I could sense she felt awestruck by seeing some of the works. We took loads of pictures and we smiled a lot. Every time she’d like something, she’d catch my arms tight and ask me to click pictures with her.

As we were approaching at the end of the room, with only few paintings left to see, she turned to me and said, “Thank you Ahmed, Thank you for today!” clearly overwhelmed by some of the beautiful works at display, some better than the other, but nothing like her.

“It’s not over yet, love.” I whispered. 

We both took a step further and she found the last painting on the wall. It was a huge white canvas, with words written in scarlet in a corsiva font. “Happy Birthday to the most beautiful girl in the world.” It read.

Right then, a man, in his forties, came up to us and gently patted her shoulder, “Ma’am” he whispered. She turned back almost fully drenched with emotions already.

“You ma’am, are really beautiful. Happy birthday.” He said and handed her a rose.

Before she could even say a thank you, there was a lady just behind him, his wife. She said, “God bless you, love. Keep smiling for the rest of your life. Happy birthday.” She hugged her and shook my hand.

Soon, a girl, almost our age came up and wished her too, handing her another rose. A bunch of college students, came up too and each handing her a rose.

Soon, everyone who were present in the hall, started singing and wishing her. She hugged me tight, her head resting near my heart and her love residing inside.

“Happy birthday again.” I whispered.

“You didn’t have to do all this you know?” she said, slowly letting a drop of tear out from her eyes. Damn, she was beautiful, even in the room full of art.

“This is the least I could do.” I said, fully aware of the things I couldn’t do. I couldn’t be hers.

She then thanked everyone, personally and took pictures of them so that she wouldn’t forget them.

We then went to the nearby French restaurant and had her favorite Soupe à L’oignon. She loved it.

“I want to sit and talk to you.” She said as soon as we were out.

“But you need to be home in another hour and we are almost 40 kms away. We need to move.” I said, although I didn’t want to. In fact I wanted time to stand still.

“Ok.” She sadly obliged.

But as fate had it, five minutes later, it started pouring down. It was like, the sky was asking us to wait and relax, while it rained and ruined the city to make our lives beautiful.

There was a bus stop nearby, we got down and went inside.

“There you go.” I said. The road was empty and there was no sign of any human near or far. It was just us and the rain and a bit of chillness too.

After a bit of silence, she asked, “How have you been?”

“Barely breathing.” I said quickly and honestly.

“You?”

“Same, with a bit a wheezing in between.” She said with a smile.

“You’re going through much worse, I see.” I replied.

“Absolutely, some nights are worse than other nights, you know.” She smiled.

“Can I hold you?” I asked and I don’t know why I did. I just felt like.

She came close and without even answering me, she extended her arms and held me. It was me and her within our own selves as one, complete.

“Best things in life can’t be together.” I said with a tinge a regret or probably more.

“Don’t spoil our story by trying to make it last forever.” She said, still in my arms.

“You’re copying Oscar Wilde.” I quickly retorted.

“Modify, not copy.” She justified.

“You’re better than that, love.” I said and the rain seemed to slow down.

We sat there for the next half an hour, forgetting the rain, the time and the world. We talked and talked and then a little more than that and then we kissed just when the light hit the sky after the clouds had dampened the atmosphere.

“Thank you”, we both said together to each other and then we both smiled knowing we didn’t have to.

I dropped her home at 6 pm and I reached mine around 7 pm.

The whole night, I smiled because I was surprising and genuinely happy. I thought I’d cry because it was over, but here I was smiling because it happened. It took me a year without her and a day with her to realize that we were now in different worlds and that a day is sometimes better than a thousand forevers. I also realized that just because two people don’t end up being together, doesn’t mean their 

relationship is a failure. It was much better than most love stories that last a lifetime.

The next morning, I got up at 7:30 am and I realized I was getting late to office as soon as I got up. I saw my face in the mirror and I saw myself, dull and sleep deprived but then a few seconds later, my lips widened and I smiled.

“Was it just a dream?” I thought and grabbed my mobile in haste.

12 missed calls and 3 text messages from Aditya, the last one read, “I know you didn’t listen to me. Hope you are having a great time.”

 

Author's Note

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Reviews

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It's good. You are a good writer. Keep it up Ahmed.......