Growing up, but not really.

Chapter One: "If there's one thing I've learned... it's nothing." 
November 2012 

I had a plan. Everyone has a plan in college. "I'm going to graduate and move to New York", or "I'm going to start my career right after graduation". It's never, "I'm going to move back in with my parents for a little while", or "I'm looking for a minimum wage job that doesn't offer benefits or health insurance". 
No, that wasn't part of my plan. That's just what happened instead. 
I'd like to blame the economy, and the president, and the stuff that everyone else blames when they're unemployed... but I have a hard time believing that my "lack of experience" and refusal to study harder during Finals week is somehow Obama's fault. He wasn't the one who got me drunk the night before "Career Day!" (the big fair when companies come in from all over and everyone chases after Internships in their suits and ties and pencil skirts. Except me, I stayed in bed because I was reeeeally hungover.) No, that had nothing to do with economy. That one's on Jose Cuervo. 
I'll tell you that "I don't know where I screwed up", but if I really had to nail it down - college might be a good place to start. 


The Original Life Plan of Hannah Morris: 
- Marry Sam Walker 
- Move to Los Angeles 
- Publish a book 
- Get into the record business while Sam goes to school 
- Keep in touch with Lindsey when she moves to New York. (I can fly there for Christmas, and she can fly here for New Years!) 

What Really Happened in the Life of Hannah Morris: 
- Sam and I broke up after he chose to move home after college. (Which ended up being a really stupid reason, since I ended up back there a month later.) 
- How was I supposed to know that I wouldn't get a job in LA right out of college? I was still in college. I thought life happened the way that it does in a sitcom. 
- Move to LA? Right now I'd settle just to be out of Fremont. 
- Publish a book? What? I can't even write a book. I'm not inspired. How can I write a book if I'm not inspired? 
- Record business. *Sigh* I would have settled on being the mail girl if it meant I was working at a label. Instead I work as a waitress at Jane's Diner, until I can afford to move out of my parents house. 
- Lindsey and I haven't spoken in awhile. We had a pretty big fight back in August. I don't think we're friends anymore. 
- She is NOT inviting me to New York for Christmas. 

Honestly, that might be the worst part. Lindsey made it. My best friend - ex best friend? Whatever. - ended up at a publishing house in New York City, my ex boyfriend is living with some girl that he just met (six months ago, whatever), and I'm stuck working at a diner for minimum wage and living with my parents. It's like the end of a movie where the mean girl "gets what's coming to her" - but I'm not mean, what did I do? Lindsey's the mean one. She's the one who... well, she - 
It's a long story. Just trust me. 
And Sam. What gives? Shacking up with some skank he met on the Internet. We were supposed to move to LA, Sam. You were supposed to me shacking up with me. We were supposed to be happy.
Ugh. 
They say every post-grad feels this way. At least that's what I've been told. But I find it very hard to believe that "everyone else" has felt this way. There would be some sort of support group. There would be more post-grads jumping off roofs. There would be a mental health professional assigned to each person at graduation. There's no way everyone has felt the way that I do, because this is supposed to be the time in your life when everything you've dreamed about finally comes together. But in my case, I watched everything just fall apart.

Reviews

[ZackOfBridge]

I really enjoy the voice and personality in your writing. Maybe I should stop making plans for my life after college. That was a fun read, keep posting