When I Cared

I looked at her, but she stares away. 

I speak to her but she kept a deaf ear. 

I try to touch her but she walks away. 

I want her but she dose not care for me. 

I wished for her to find happiness although I know used my last wish. 

I preyed for her but I know gods not listening. 

I tried to save her but I failed to reach her in time. 

I tried to help her but I could not stop crying, 

I could not for give my self. 

I wanted more, I knew better. 

I wanted her, so I thought of taking my life. 

I wanted to see what I've become, I know now I have no one to blame. 

I now have me; I’m not caring for anyone else. I now have a heart worth protecting and no one will have it ever again.

Reviews

[catofjade]

This is raw, needs work, intense, emotional, and very, very deep. It speaks of love, disappointment, despair unto the living of life, and withdrawal. If I was sitting there talking with you, I would ask you to say this poem to me without looking at it, and record you while you spoke. Chances are your spoken words would hold the detail that is missing here, missing only because I am become somewhat familiar with your work, Q. The subjects you tackle here are so big and so important that more detail is a must. Hope I am making sense to you, and one more comment: Would very, very much like to see a second, sequel-type poem, about coming out of that particular valley, when you do. And you will. Hang in there, you are one of my faves here, as you well know!!

[Quattro Hall]

thanks jade