Try to understand

The first new one, with a little more time and age. Here is to a good start of new writings.

How I have tried, Oh how I have tried.
Tried to find, what makes me happy.
Tried to find, the place that still feels like home.
Tried to hide the pain in which I face.
Oh have I tried…
Tried to feel a warm hand.
Tried to grasp a soften body.
Tried to run my fingers through feathery hair.
Oh have I tried…
Tried to wish for death to come again.
Tried to prey, so I could move on.
Tried to want… but for what?
Oh how I have tried…
Tried to stand, for in hope I would be seen.
Tried to yell in hope I shall be heard.
Tried to write in hope it would have substance.
Oh… whoa, have I tried…
Tried to smell the air.
Tried to taste…
Tried to feel… feel the rain, the rain, just as it drips down your face.
I have tried so hard.
Tried to feel acknowledged when walking into a room.
Tried to see a face brighten, only after they have seen mine.
Tried to talk and know someone is hearing you.
OH GOD HAVE I TRIED!
Tried to place myself in someone’s path. Only to hope… they would acknowledge me, hoping they see me.
Tried to hurt another so I may speak words of apologizes.
I have tried to die in so many ways!
Tried to feel fear, in hope that it will make me feel more alive.
Hoping… hoping… is that the last?
Is hope even a feeling?
Is hoping a since of punishment or despair?
For what?!
What did I do wrong?
For what deed am I being punished for?
Why is trying to find one’s self in this nothing of a world such a punishment?
Why does hope have no feeling at all?
Why is hope even a word we use with such meaning, such renown?
I have tried to have hope… only to have none…
Only having Despair, Disbelief, Discouragement, Disdain.
Having only Sorrow.
Oh how I have tried…

Author's Note

I would like to know your take on the whom is saying these words. if they were being spoken of course. whom or what? I tried (lol) to leave that that up to the reader.
so I would love to know if That indeed happened. or any other comments you are willing to say.

Reviews

[Monster ^.^]

The will to keep on trying... that's something only a few have. I love the courage the person in the point of view is trying to communicate. Nice.

[Quattro Hall]

thank you. I glad you liked it and tried to seen from a storytellers perspective.