Conquering Fear

It would be the simplest thing,

One small step forward,
Except there is no moon and space suits to float in,
Instead there is a tall building and nine point eight meters per second,

A ledge protruding outward from the roof is where I stand,

I see the crowd gathering stories below my feet,
They're chanting "Jump!",
I always thought that quite strange,
I mean should they not be chanting "Fall",
How often does one jump in scenarios like this,
Now now wicked conscience you dare not digress,
With strange thoughts at the hour of death,
For I have been to this precipice many a time,
And the wicked thoughts that drove me here always cower away,
Replaced with ones of salvation,
Fearing damnation,
I lift a foot and the crowd erupts in cheers,
I put it back down and there come the swears,
Then I laugh derisively until my eyes leak tears,
Playing God to these sheep,
These physical manifestations of banality,
That gape in awe of an act beyond their rationality,

"Hey buddy" and surprise almost takes me off the edge,

A cop has crept up slowly behind my ledge,
Saying the usual spiel they feed in times like this,
How he wants to just talk,
How he's my friend,
How he's just a guy with a hand to lend,
I tune him out because now the moment is crucial,
My sweat is accumulating and I feel that tension,
That 'Waiting for your HIV test result' tension,
I raise my foot again and I see the crowd gape,
But I hear nothing of the sounds that they make,
For every muscle in my body has clenched,
Every nerve relaying the same signal to the brain,
Causing the mind to pound as the sirens go off,
Rejecting non-existence,
With one final mental thrust,
I finally break through the barriers,
And there is this weightlessness in my foot,
This wondrously amazing weightlessness,
I could be falling right now,
I could,
I really could,
Yet I pull my foot back once again and the sound returns,
The sighs of relief as my back turns,
He's bewildered,
The cop is,
His mouth forms the word 'why' but his voice doesn't come out,
I wonder if he ever understood my retort,
That I had no intention of taking my life,
I simply wanted to know that I could.