Masks

I wear a lot of masks

the first mask comes on five minutes after the bell rings

and the teacher takes attendance

my head is down facing my desk

preparing my mask

I know just when to don it

wait for the awkward pause after Tim-o-tee Chambers

then comes the hesitation

the mispronunciation

wait for it

wait for it

the sigh of exasperation

as Mr. Not So Well Educated Substitute Teacher says

"er, you,

are you present?"

he knows I'm present of course

he's looking right at me

they all are

"PRESENT!"

I'm here even though I'd rather be anywhere else

he could pretend I'm human for a quick second

and ask me the proper pronounciation

or just ask me if I have a nickname 

like you do for all the white kids

like Richard

you people call him Dick

that isn't an issue for you

but my name is?

"you",

he says

hahahahahaha

that's the cue

the well practiced derisive laughs from my classmates

faces contorted into hideous features

like our Igbo masks

time to put on the mask of nonchalance

because if I let them see that I care

they will devour me

approaching the water fountain

I put on the mask of bravery

because back home I was scared of public water 

it made my sister very sick

everybody kept saying tie-ford

it was one of the first words I looked up in a dictionary

'typhoid'

I'm not really thirsty

but everyone in high school moves in packs

like wolves

eat together

drink together

s**t together

maybe there's a wolf that doesn't like hunting

and just wants to relax and howl beautifully under the stars

while star gazing

but he snarls and sharpens his claws anyway

because the pack is moving

and because in America the water is clean

my favorite mask is the one I have to wear

when I have to tango

the mask of the dancer

why?

well, I broke a plate

so the belt and I put on our dancing shoes

and melt into each other

my feet are light like Puck's

on the cold floor

flitting through the steps with experience

gathered from many a dance

it is a fiery embrace

filled with passionate gasps and flushed skin

I want to end the dance

I want to get away

but I always fall

like Midori Ito

I've watched reruns of her falling many times

on that harsh ice

and Kristi Yamaguchi takes the gold!

I know how that feels

to dance on cold floors so magnificently 

but still fall

in my room sometimes I worry

that people at school will notice the bruises

but then I remember I have nothing to offer them

people don't see you unless they need you

their eyes pass right through you

they can't see your face

so they can't see your pain

almost as if 

you were wearing a mask.

Reviews

[Bonie]

Aha! Masks!!! We all need at least 2. It's really how we survive. Good piece. The metaphors got a lil confusing tho.